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Monday, October 18, 2010

Lysistrata II

Back around 400 BC, the Greek playwright Aristophanes wrote Lysistrata, a play about a group of Greek women who withheld sex from their husbands as a way to pressure them into ending the Peloponnesian War. 

The previous post alluded to how students in the inner city are sometimes mocked as "acting white" by their peers if they study too hard. What we need in the ghetto is a wholesale change of attitude. Here is a conversation that would portend just such a positive change, between two pretty female high school students in the inner city -- presented in the spirit of Lysistrata:

Shaniqua: Some a these guys, what they thinkin'? Jerome think he can get wit' me, but that punkass bitch only have a 2.8 GPA.

Lashondra: That chump tried gettin' over wit' me one time too, I said, unh-unh honey, not till you take a drug test. I know he been smokin' the weed when he supposed to be studyin'.

Shaniqua: Other day Darnell be tryin' to put the moves on, I say baby, don't come around here wit' that weakass 480 math SAT score. I want me a real man!

Lashondra: Four-eighty?! (Doubles over with laughter) You go girl!

Shaniqua: Do the math, fool. I'm subtractin' you outa my life.

Lashondra: (still laughing) That shit is whack.

Shaniqua: And then Darnell say to me, what's wrong with you bitch, you some kinda playa hater? I tol' him, that is exactly what I am. Steada hangin' wit' your home boyz you oughta be hittin' the books!

Lashondra: Ah-men!

Shaniqua: And that Jamal, always talkin' bout his strong pimp hand. Strong hand my ass, fool ain't got but one AP course in his entire curriculum!

Lashondra: Some of these homeboys is trippin'. Jermaine think he all that, but he only got into State, and that only 'cause they wanted his basketball playin' ass. Fool think he be knockin' boots wit' me, but I say, I ain't interested in guys spend their time dribblin', I wanna sexy brotha -- one who knows his way around a library. You know what I mean.

Shaniqua: Now Tyrone....

Lashondra: (dreamily) Tyrone. Mmmmmm......

Shaniqua: He is one baaaaad motherfuckah. Man has a straight up 4.0 GPA, an' he takin' AP calculus and AP chemistry. Now that is a fly report card!

Lashondra: (mouths the name sensually): Ty-rone scored 2310 on his boards. That is so phat....

Shaniqua: Tyrone got hisself into Princeton, he didn't even tell them he was a brotha.

Lashondra: Mmmmm, dude may be short, and not much to look at, but those thick glasses is sexy.

Shaniqua: Tyrone come over to my crib anytime!

Lashondra: (chuckling) Gimme some a them smart genes! It's all good, baby.

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