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Thursday, July 14, 2011

"A recognition of certain current realities"

A friend sent the following story this evening (I'd like to give attribution but the author is unknown):

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said, “Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for little Suzuki a bright foreign exchange student from Japan who had his hand up:  “Patrick Henry, 1775,” he said.
“Very good, Suzuki-san!”
Who said, “Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?”
Again, no response except from little Suzuki, “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”
“Excellent!” said the teacher continuing.  “Let's try one a bit more difficult....”
Who said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?”
Once again, Suzuki’s was the only hand in the air and he said: “John F. Kennedy, 1961.”
The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  Little Suzuki isn't from this country and he knows more about our national history than you do.”
She heard a loud whisper:  “F--- the Japs.”
“Who said that? I want to know right now!” she angrily demanded.
Little Suzuki put his hand up, “General MacArthur, 1942.”
At that point, a student in the back said, “I'm gonna puke.”
The teacher glares around and asks, “All right!!! Now who said that?”
Again, this charmingly thoughtful Suzuki says, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”
Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah?  Suck this!”
Little Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, “Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, “You little s---.  If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”
Little Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.”
The teacher fainted.
As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh s---; we’re screwed!”
Little Suzuki said quietly with thoughtful concern in his voice: “the American people, November 4, 2008.”

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

John,

Now thats funny !! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile.

Mad Dog

John Craig said...

Mad Dog --
It ended my day yesterday the same way.

Anonymous said...

Hysterical! (In a sad and worrying way.)
G

John Craig said...

G --
Exactly. Hysterical because it's so on target.