Bob Turner's acceptance speech

 It just occurred to me, this is what Bob Turner, who won the seat of the disgraced Anthony Weiner, should have said in his victory speech two and a half weeks ago:

"I want you all to know that I'm here because of Anthony Weiner's penis. We should consider this a celebration of that organ.

"Because Anthony thought he wouldn't get caught when he sexted all those girls, the Democrats now have one one less vote in the House of Representatives.

"Because the steroids he took made Anthony's horniness spin out of control, there will be one more voice in the House of Representatives against greater debt.

"Because Anthony thought it appropriate to sent a picture of his hardon to college girls, ObamaCare is more likely to be repealed.

"Because Anthony thought that he would actually turn on girls twenty years younger by sending them naked pictures of himself, Obama's newest stimulus bill is less likely to gain traction.

"Because Anthony couldn't get his mind off all that sweet college poontang, we are more likely to move towards a balanced federal budget.

"And because Anthony lied about all this when he was first caught and claimed that his phone had been hacked, tax rates are more likely to stay unchanged.

"Let us all take a moment to thank both Anthony Weiner's penis and his dishonesty and the steroid manufacturer who made him so horny. Because they can all claim credit for advancing the cause of fiscal responsibility."

Then he should have sent a video of this speech to Weiner.

Ungracious? Of course.

Accurate? Yes.