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Friday, May 18, 2012

"The 50+ Hottest Women Currently in Prison"

A friend sent this link which is a website for female prison inmates who want to correspond with men on the outside.

I think he sent it in the spirit of, "Check out these babes, can you imagine how horny they must be all caged up?" 


My reaction was a little different. All I could think as I looked at the pictures was how much trouble these women must be.

A few of the pictures with their captions (my thoughts in italics):





Maeghan Rice

Reason for Incarceration: Second-degree murder

"I got involved with the wrong guy at a young age and I am paying the price, now I want to find the right guy."

She got involved with the wrong guy, so had to kill him? Second-degree murder is not premeditated, but it's not exactly manslaughter either. (I Googled Maeghan: she got her boyfriend to kill her ex-boyfriend.)

How desperate would you have to be to knowingly get together with a murderess? What assurance would you have that she wouldn't consider you "the wrong guy" after a while?

The really weird thing is, Maeghan looks like about half of my daughter's high school friends (except that she dresses more demurely).




Jessica McKay

Reason for incarceration: Vehicular homicide, DUI

"I always have a smile on my face with a bubbly personality."

......As long as she has some bubbly, evidently.




Andrea McCormick

Reason for Incarceration: Burglary

"I am hoping to meet that very special and charming someone who is generous, compassionate, caring, and nonjudgmental."

Why does it always seem that people who request those qualities 
never possess them themselves? 




Stacey Solberg

Reason for incarceration: Aggravated Assault

"I am losing my sense of humor. Looking for a fun person with a uplifting personality that can bring my light during dark times."

Aggravated assault? Oops -- too late: she's already lost her sense of humor.




Sherree Cheng

"I have many interests both appropriate and unmentionable."

Translation: "I give you happy ending."




Amy Doyle

"I am kind, honest, and have a great personality. I'm looking for long term friendships, possibly more."

Funny, she looks neither kind nor honest, though she is built for short term fun.




Kataya Kitzman

Reason for Incarceration: Murder

"I’m a very journalistic person. I enjoy growing a personal bond through correspondence. I love to be presentable at all times. Impressions are everlasting."

Sorry, Kataya, impressions are not everlasting; murder, however, is.




Melanie Stewart

Reason for incarceration: Felony Hit and Run, Assault, Robbery

"I'm a good girl who got caught the only time I did anything wrong, and the book was thrown at me."

Sounds more like the only three times she did anything wrong.

And those sure aren't "good girl" crimes.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Im kataya kitzman's half sister ...

Anonymous said...

Im kataya's sister your rude ...

Anonymous said...

Lookin for a women to take care of

Anonymous said...

Hilarious and true, well put.

John Craig said...

Anon --
Thank you.

Anonymous said...

You clearly did not read the Maeghan Rice case very well. It says that her current boyfriend, out of jealousy due to the popularity of Maeghan´s ex-boyfriend- decided he was going to kill him. The "wrong guy" she was referring to was the current boyfriend, who convinced her to lure the ex boyfriend in a position in which he could be murdered.

That made her party to the murder, although she didn´t actually carry it out. Get your facts straight, buddy.

John Craig said...

Anon --
I said "She got her boyfriend to kill her ex-boyfriend," not that she carried it out herself.

Take a look at this article:

http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/local/apache_junction/article_8baa056a-c869-11e0-b541-001cc4c002e0.html

It says, clearly, "On June 20, 2008, Rice, then 16, picked up Mercier while Paulson hid under a blanket in the back cruiser cab of the truck. Rice said a code word for Paulson who killed Mercier out of jealousy, according to Capt. Tom Kelly, a spokesman for the Apache Junction Police Department…..Kelly said Rice played one boyfriend off the other who both were jealous of each other, but Mercier was the one who wound up getting killed."

Amy Simpson said...

Hello John
My name is Amy Simpson, you have me on your blog for 50 hottest inmates I have been released for several years and would like my picture removed from your sight

John Craig said...

Amy --
You're no longer on the site.