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Monday, December 10, 2012

Prison penpals V

Still searching for the perfect correspondent. The latest prospects:

Kimela Trump (Engaging in organized crime)

What's a nice girl like me doing in a place like this? I'm a cute little princess and a bit of a tomboy. I grew up with ice skates on my feet and pom-poms in my hands. I love to jump around and shake things up. I'm 5 foot nothing, 110 pounds, long reddish brown hair, and the biggest blue eyes you've ever seen. I'm a country girl at heart who loves fireflies and front porch swings but also an adrenaline junkie with a wild side who loves loud music, fast cars, and a man with a sense of humor. I'm learning from my past, dealing with my present, and planning for my future. I'm looking for someone to talk to, learn from, and laugh with. I'm loyal and very outgoing. If you are looking for a little sparkle in your world, I'm right here.

Anybody who says she loves "to jump around and shake things up" is telling you she likes to make trouble. And any self-professed "adrenaline junkie" basically is trouble, squared. 

An adrenaline junkie is someone who gets bored easily, and needs far more stimulation than most to get her motor running. She might be fun for an evening or two, but her need for thrills would quickly pall. 

I was curious exactly what form of "organized crime" Kimela could have participated in, so I looked her up. 

Turns out that she was the girlfriend of David Maynard, the leader of the Aryan Brotherhood of Texas. Maynard had asked one Shawn Forrest, a fellow gang member, to transport a load of methamphetamine for him, and Forrest had refused. Maynard wanted to Forrest killed, so one morning Trump and three other gang members, all high on meth, drove over to Forrest's apartment. Trump testified that the three others fired at Forrest's red Mazda and then fled. Forrest then drove towards her (she was alone in a white pickup truck) and pursued her in a high speed chase down the highway until they were eventually stopped by a police roadblock.

That must be what Trump is referring to when she says she likes fast cars. (She also says she likes "a man with a sense of humor," but evidently Forrest didn't have much of a sense of humor about being shot at.)

Even at "five foot nothing, 110 pounds," that "cute little princess" is too much woman for me.

Peggy Taylor (Assault)

I'm hard to describe, "BUTT" better to experience. I have "baggage", (as you can see) and I want you to know what's in every single piece of it!!! Including this: sexy smile, sexy talk, sexy kisses, sexy walk, sexy brain, sexy heart, sexy every little part.

Cum experience the ride. I am the cure for what Viagra is trying to fix! I do have a "Ballsy-type" confidence that allows me to take life by the tail, and go… Well-everywhere!

Much as I would like to "cum experience the ride," I actually prefer women who are, well, a tad more demure.

I was, however, dying to know the details of Peggy's crime, so looked her up and found this barebones description. She evidently committed a sexual assault in 2000, followed by an aggravated assault in 2007. I scoured the internet, but could find no details about the sexual assault. (Hard to imagine a sweet little thing like that being aggressive about sex.)

Peggy will probably get some replies to her ad, if not from me. No percentage in being shy, I guess. 

Tammy Wilson (Homicide)

I'm looking to correspond with those of you that have a compassionate soul. I've been on the inside for almost 20 years and I've learned the most precious things in life are the simplest. My greatest masterpiece of this world are my children. Even though I haven't been a part of their life I love them ~ think about them every day and hope on day to at least meet them.

I had hoped to open a shelter for women that had no place to go however Parole regulations won't allow that. So after much thought and soul searching with my friend . . . I've decided to help start a scholarship fund to help the children on incarcerate women start their first year of college. It took me 20 years to get my college degree ~ a goal I thought was hopeless. 

If this letter has touched you in anyway, and you feel you'd like to know more about me and my plans for the future . . .Please write.

What a nice woman! And what good values Tammy has! She knows that the most precious things in life are the simplest. She loves her children, and thinks about them every day. And she is so noble, wanting to open up that shelter, and now starting that fund....

Tammy's parole hearing, however, painted a slightly different picture. Turns out she was the mastermind of a plot to kill a man in West Virginia in order to take over his two businesses. Tammy convinced Roger Cline, who was later found to be mentally disabled, to shoot Tod McQuaid. After Tammy drugged McQuaid, Cline shot him twice. Tammy then examined McQuaid and told Cline to shoot McQuaid again from a closer distance, and not miss, otherwise she would shoot Cline and then his family.

If that story has touched you in any way, and you feel you'd like to influence Tammy and her plans for the future....please write her parole board.

Anesha Wise (white collar crime)

Anesha is an inmate at the Central California Women's Facility in Chowchilla, California. She lists her birth date as 1974, her release date as 2013, and her race as Caucasian. She also lists her measurements at an unlikely 34D - 20 - 34, her weight at 110, and says she has long blonde hair, despite the evidence of the photo above. 

But when I Googled Anesha to find out exactly what her white collar crime was, I found another ad for yet another Anesha Wise, with the following picture: 

This Anesha, too, is an inmate at the Central California Women's Facility in Chowchilla, California, and also has a release date of 2013. Not only that, her ad states that she is incarcerated for "white collar crime." 

What an amazing coincidence -- two different inmates, with the same name, same crime, and same release date, at the same prison. There were some minor differences, however: the black Anesha lists her birth date as 1978, and lists her measurements as 38C - 24 - 34 and her weight at 140. (You be the judge of that hip measurement.) 

Were I a more suspicious type, I might think that someone was trying to perpetrate a scam -- if not quite a white collar one. But I prefer to take a less cynical view of the world, so am quite happy to believe that there are two Anesha's residing at the same facility. 

I wonder if they're friends. Imagine their surprise when they discovered each other. It must have been a little like that scene in The Parent Trap, when those twins each find out about the existence of the other.

I'm not sure which Anesha to write, and I certainly wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of whichever one I didn't write. So I'm going to solve my dilemna by writing neither.

In fact, maybe it's time I gave up on my search for a penpal on these prison websites entirely.


lowly said...

Scroll down for Peggy's non 'butt' pic. She may be a little deceptive as well.

John Craig said...

Lowly --
That's hilarious. I guess Peggy is trying all the angles, so to speak. It's really not that much different than a fisherman using different lures. Except these inmates are fishing for men.

Quartermain said...

If one of the correspondants bear bitter fruit, I have a feeling the story won't play on the Oxygen network.

John Craig said...

Allan --
I'm not familiar with them, are they like the WE network?

Quartermain said...

I'm afraid so...

John Craig said...

Allan --
Shame on you for even knowing that.....and I guess shame on me for being familiar with the WE network.

lowly said...

You could give this gal a try. She got slobbered and killed/hurt others in an automotive accident, so she isn't actively evil. And, importantly, she calls what she did a crime:

John Craig said...

Lowly --
Wow, and she's not bad-looking, either.

I'm not actually looking for a pen pal, I'm married with a couple kids. This whole exercise was just an excuse to peruse the website and try to spot the obvious sociopaths.

Anonymous said...

John, is this series going to run to XVII or XVIII? If so, I suggest that you consider an "adult content" warning given the trend in pictorial choice.

John Craig said...

G --
No more women, I actually made it to the end of the alphabet with them. As far as the pictures, well, Peggy kept the crucial parts covered, what she showed wasn't all that much more than what the female volleyball players showed in London this past summer.

I'm actually debating right now whether to do a couple about the men. Somehow I find them less intrinsically interesting, I looked at a few and they are for the most part just obvious lowlife animals, very little subterfuge involved. Somehow it's more surprising -- and therefore interesting -- to find out that a sweet-looking girl is a sociopath, whereas making that diagnosis for a 6', 210 pound male who looks like an out-of-shape MMA fighter and is covered with tattoos and is in jail for robbing a bank seems too obvious.

It's far more interesting to figure out that a Bill Clinton or a Newt Gingrich is a sociopath, because that's unexpected.

Anonymous said...

I would like to give you a little in-site on Trump. Have you ever known anyone with addiction? Do you have any idea what that is like. Let me tell you that I have known Kim her whole life and the girl that was addicted to drugs and did the things she did is not the "real" Kim. Did she deserve to be punished for her crime. You bet I am not saying that. What I am saying is before you call someone a sociopath that you don't even know do some actual research. Not what you read in papers. Write her get to know her. She grew up in a nice Christian home with values, love and support. She was an ice skater, cheerleader basketball, softball player and mother of 3 beautiful kids...she just got screwed up on drugs. Trust me her parents, love her as much as you love your children. She could have been your daughter, wife, sister or family member. Drugs do horrible things to people. I pray to God that you never have to experience that first hand. I hope your children grow up to be great adults but you know what? We all grow up and make our own decisions which are not always good ones. Hope you or even your wife would write Kim could and get to know her, she is smart and funny. She loves getting letters from people. Oh and I guess she did tell a little lie in her profile...she is only 4'11".

John Craig said...

Anon --
I never said Trump was a sociopath; read the part of the post about her again, you'll see I stopped short of that. (With a lot of the inmates, I said they were.)

I know what drug addiction can do; it basically steals your soul, so that you'll do anything for the fix. But having lost your soul is actually not a bad description of sociopathy; I'm not saying Kimela Trump is one, I'm only saying that drug addicts can do a pretty fair imitation of one, to the point of effectively being one at times.

I'll take your word that she's smart and funny; she's certainly pretty enough.

Anonymous said...

You may have buried the lede on "Peggy." If you check the sex listed on the prison pen pals site, it's male.

I admire Peggy's sense of humor. "Balls-y" indeed.

John Craig said...

Anon --
Wow, I hadn't noticed that. You're very observant. Peggy's face and rear end certainly look female, but now that you've pointed this out, "her" crime of sexual assault makes more sense.

Thank you for that.

Anonymous said...

Your postings on these prison pen pals always carries the underlying message of who in their right mind would voluntarily start corresponding with these women in prison? To greatly amplify that point, you've just got to see the episode "Got a Pen Pal" from the series, I Almost Got Away with It (it's episode 5 of Season 3). A white, average-looking guy named
Glenn in Pennsylvania has been corresponding for twelve years with fifty-four year old Brenda, an African-American woman who's been in and out of prison in Florida. The two have never met. While out of prison, Brenda deliberately runs over a drug-dealing partner but only injures him. Out on bond, she asks Glenn for assistance and he drives to Florida and takes her back to Pennsylvania as she begins life on the run. Glenn even allows Brenda to bring along a male friend who is suppose to be an uncle but isn't. Glenn is supposedly middle-class and a non-drug user but he lets Brenda and her "uncle" live at his house for months while they shoot heroin. Brenda is also very high-tempered and won't allow any sexual advances from Glenn. The program has five to ten minutes of Glenn talking where he attempts to explain his "thinking" at the time.

John Craig said...

Anonymous --
That's a great story. We're all naive until we've been burned by a sociopath, though Glenn sounds particularly naive. I'm sure Glenn had a nice liberal background with all the right brainwashing, too.

There was actually one woman looking for a pen pal I wrote about in one of these posts who actually did sound as if she was a victim of circumstance. But a lot of them give their dishonesty and even sociopathy away in the little advertisements they write about themselves, and it's always an interesting intellectual exercise to try to spot the inconsistencies, lies, and other sociopathic "tics," like talking about what wonderful people they are.

Uncle HipHop said...

Why do you assume she was brought up in a liberal household....When you just post a woman involved in the Aryan Nation? Not a hot bed of Liberalism if I'm not mistaken. LOL Maybe the "Dark" part of the story twisted you logic just a tad.

John Craig said...

Uncle HipHop --
Glenn was a he, not a she, and the reason I'd guess he was brought up in a nice liberal household is because he seemed to be wearing blinders when it came to this Brenda woman he corresponded with.

And I'm not sure what the first woman I wrote about, Kimela Trump, has to do with the Glenn/Brenda story. I had nothing good to say about Trump, in case you didn't notice.

The Ambivalent Misanthrope said...

Oh my God, John Craig, this blog needs to stop having its way with me! :-)

This was probably the most hilarious of your prison pen pal ads posts. I'm kind of disappointed you abandoned that pastime... And it's so very ripe for sociopathy analysis! But hey, if you're feeling just plain goofy and might consider this old hobby, have you ever checked out the forums on some of those inmate pen pal sites, like Prison Talk ( They can blow the ads straight out into the stratosphere...

John Craig said...

Ambivalent Misanthrope --
Sorry, but the blog has a will that can't be resisted, and a limitless libido, so you're going to have to just resign yourself to having to accommodate him for a while. (When the blog does have his way with women, they do have a tendency to say, as you did, "Oh my God….")

Thank you; I actually haven't officially given it up, but I've looked at those ads maybe ten or fifteen times since, and just haven't been inspired to write about them. (And bear in mind, I have to take some care in choosing which ones to talk about, and how I talk about them, for reasons of personal safety. I had an idea for a funny one mocking the head of a major gang one time, but then realized, wait a sec, even though this guy isn't getting out anytime soon, all he has to do is tell one of his minions to show up at my door….)

Speaking of which, you have to tell me about your sociopath sometime (via email, if you prefer).

I'll take a look at that Prison Talk website, thanks.

The Ambivalent Misanthrope said...

An alpha blog sure is hard to resist --- I am still working on some delayed gratification rests between posts.

Ah, my sociopath. I will have to work up the courage to tell that story. The fact is that, as in so many such scenarios, I am embarrassed how easily I was bamboozled. So there is a fair amount of bruised ego-licking involved in the process of recovery. Also, I find that, because this person made actual bodily threats against me, I am fearful of even talking about it, as if talking about it brings it all back to scary life all over again.

John Craig said...

Ambivalent Misanthrope --
I guess you haven't gotten to my 18-part series, "Confessions of a beta male," yet. But please, do take a rest.

I know exactly how you feel about the sociopath. In fact, I put up a post on August 5, 2014, about my first sociopath, about whom I was unbelievably naive, in a post on this blog, just so that people would feel less foolish about their own experiences with a sociopath. If you've seen it already (did I point it out to you before, I vaguely remember doing so?) forgive me:

In any case, if you feel like talking about it, and there's certainly no pressure to do so, just send me your email address via a comment, I won't post it, and I'll write you an email back, and you can tell me privately.

Anonymous said...

Cool blog!

Hello. This episode of "Cold Blood" is about Tammy Wilson.

Anonymous said...

Tammy Wilson