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Friday, February 15, 2013

Vegans

Every time someone tells me she's a vegan, I hear, "I'm a vagina." Weirdly, I hear that even when a man says it.

It's not that I think they're making any sort of sexual statement. What they're saying is, "I'm a compassionate, sensitive, caring person who doesn't want to hurt any living creatures."

Nothing wrong with that, of course. Most mammals, like us, are sentient creatures, with as many nerve endings as us. Many people become attached to their pets; perhaps more to the point, their pets become attached to them. And if women hadn't evolved a certain free floating maternal instinct, the human race might have gone extinct.

The problem is, the accompanying attitudes. A woman who announces her veganism is also telling you she's a leftist, and quite possibly a man-disliker, if not an outright man-hater. A guy who does so is telling you that he has renounced his manhood, and thinks he is a better person than you for having done so. (Who knows, maybe he is.)

I've met maybe one or two pleasant vegans, but the vast majority seem suffused with at least a little self-righteousness. Opting for a special diet is one thing, being strident about it another. It's sort of like the difference between someone who doesn't bother going to church and someone who sues others for their Christmas displays.

Strict vegans (as opposed to more casual vegetarians) abstain from milk and eggs as well as meat, on grounds of morality. This stance has always left me a little confused: if you don't eat eggs for ethical reasons, shouldn't you also be anti-abortion?

Next time someone tells you she's a vegan, ask if she eats eggs. If she replies no, say, "Ah, so you're pro-life -- admirable!"

That should stimulate an interesting conversation.

(I'm pro-choice, but claim otherwise to vegans.)

10 comments:

Quartermain said...

Here's a couple of articles:

http://jimgoad.net/index.shtml?veganscajuns

http://takimag.com/article/the_vegetarian_personality_jim_goad/print#axzz1w8LMQJQl

John Craig said...

Allan --
Wow, those were both fantastic, hilarious, and I have to admit, way better than my post.

Thanks, or maybe, no thanks.

Anonymous said...

I was a little non-plussed when a vegan acquaintance told me that she did not eat honey. I joked, "I guess that's because you're against enslavement of bees", to which she replied "Yes".

You have got to be F****g kidding me!!

Oh well.
G

PS She owns a dog.

John Craig said...

G --
Perfect.

Anonymous said...

John--I have a big charge on Vegans and actually consider it a form of mental illness. As a health professional, I've observed many such people and have not once met a single one who I would consider of sound mind. Such people forget that humans are on top of the food chain and that an animal's purpose in it's life is to be of service to those on a higher level, i.e., cat eats mouse, mouse eats insect, insect eats microbes, etc. Plus, humans are omnivores and need some form of animal protein (beef, poultry, dairy, insect, fish) or else they must canabalise their own brain which is why they don't think straight, i.e., hence the mental illness. Thanks for this opportunity for me to vent:) Brian

John Craig said...

Brian --
That's an interesting theory, could be something to it. I've certainly never seen a vegan who looks robustly healthy to me. It would certainly explain a lot. I guess one of the side effects of malnutrition is self-righteousness.

Anonymous said...

"The problem is, the accompanying attitudes. A woman who announces her veganism is also telling you she's a leftist...a guy who does so is telling you that he has renounced his manhood"

The only vegan man I ever knew was indeed effeminate. All the vegan women were into 'green' politics and were so far left that they were practically communists. One was anorexic and just using veganism as a way of avoiding food. Maybe Brian was right in saying that there's a link between veganism and poor health because all were frail and skinny.

Gethin

John Craig said...

Gethin --
If you're a vegan it's not hard to get enough calories, but you have to make a real effort to get enough protein, as there aren't that many non-animal sources of all the amino acids. You have to combine beans and corn, for instance, or take in a lot of soy (which, by the way, promotes estrogen formation), or lentils. A lot of vegans seem to ignore this and as a result just waste away.

Anonymous said...

Not sure if you're kidding or not, but abstaining from milk and eggs for moral reasons is completely different from being anti-abortion. It's about the conditions under which hens and dairy cows are kept.

John Craig said...

Anon --
Actually, that's a good point. I'm not against more humane treatment for animals. The post was more about the mindset that almost always goes with being a vegan.