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Monday, May 20, 2013

Now that I've actually had the operation.....

.....described in the previous post, my sensibilities have completely changed.

Sports seem barbaric to me now. In fact, competition of any sort no longer holds any appeal to me either. People should just stop keeping score. I realize now that it's a sickness.

This includes economic competition. We should all just cooperate, have one big common bank account -- let's call it the government -- to which everybody contributes and everybody takes.

I realize now that nobody deserves to have any more money than anyone else, no matter how much smarter he is or how much harder he's worked.

In fact, the concept of "smart" now strikes me as a social construct. There's no such thing as intelligence, no such thing as smart people and dumb people.

The idea of offending anyone with harsh truths no longer holds any appeal. I just want people to like me.

Hypocrisy no longer annoys me. I just go with the flow.

I see now that women are the equal of men, and should fill combat roles in the military.

We don't need a strong military anyway. Those other nice countries would never do anything bad. We're the bad ones.

I like the idea of open borders, unlike that horrible Jason Richwine. Whoever wants to enter our country should just come in and we should bend over for them. I now realize, doing that actually feels sort of good.

I now find the idea that the races differ in innate abilities to be offensive. In fact, from the moment I left my hospital bed, whenever anyone says anything I can't refute, I feel a slight hysteria overcome me and I have a strong urge to cry out, "I find that highly offensive!"

In fact, I now realize there is no such thing as race. But of course, if there was, it would be unacceptable to criticize any races except the white race. We can criticize them as much as we want, because they can take it.

I find myself feeling more.....maternal. Animals are people too, you know.

I also see the political situation much more clearly. If the Justice Department wants to spy on the AP, well, it does have to prevent leaks when national security is at stake (even if they planned to make that announcement themselves the next day). If the IRS targets conservatives, well, there's no reason political organizations should have tax exemption anyway -- that's the real scandal! But if President Nixon had an enemies list, I can only shudder to think of what an evil man he was.

Best of all, when I look at Barack Obama, I now see him for what he is: our Savior. (What a good person I am to feel that way about a black man!)

Life is so much simpler without testosterone clouding my thinking.

4 comments:

W O D said...

Does everything happen for a reason too?

John Craig said...

W O D --
Women DO say that, don't they. Good observation, I wouldn't have thought of that one.

When I wrote this post, my intent hadn't been to make fun of women so much as just wimpy guys, though it did end up straying into female territory as well.

W O D said...

I started off reading that it was just a balless man but yeah you did start to sound like a woman.

I hope you don't lose too many readers...

John Craig said...

W O D --
Although, when you think of it, what is a woman but a ball-less man? (And vice versa.)

Any readers I would have lost because of this post, I suspect I would have lost a long time ago.