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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

How would you react if you saw these on the street?

Outrageousness is the norm on the runway. The more interesting question is, what would you think if you saw someone actually walking down the street in these recent fashion show outfits?

Here are my reactions (I'll try to be as honest as possible):

"I wonder how much she charges."

"Those look like the tassels that strippers sometimes wear....Hey, wait a sec! Hmm, if I tell her she's showing, would she consider that rude?"

"Wow....I guess Lady Liberty decided to exchange those frumpy green robes for a racier leopard skin print -- and tart up her decolletage while she was at it. Oh well, gotta change with the times."

"That must be how Amish people dress up when it's time to party."

"Evoking Muammar Kaddafi, circa 1983."

"That kind of talk sure doesn't go with that face. The real reason he looks so glum is probably because he knows how ashamed his parents will be when they find out he only got an A- on his biochem final."

"Okay, you've really convinced me -- women should be allowed in combat roles!"

"Must be the Bellevue Hospital ladies' swim team....I wonder how good they are."

"Uh-oh -- an escaped convict. And he's looking right at me!"

"Hmm, are they shooting a zombie movie around here? She must be getting into character."

"I guess the sneakers are in case you didn't get the message from the dress and hairdo that she's deliberately trying to make herself unattractive. Okay, I get it, you're a lesbian, don't worry, I won't be too friendly."

"Ninety-nine percent of gay guys would reject that outfit as 'too gay'."

" least this one's not out to mug me....Geez, look at this guy -- I oughta mug him."

"There's something vaguely pimp-like about that outfit....but it's too elegant. Maybe he runs a string of boys -- including the two above."


Anonymous said...

"Nice adam's apple."
"You should get that gynemastia fixed, young man."
"Is it Gay Pride Week already? Where's the rest of them?"
"I guess leprechauns only wear green on St Paddy's Day."
"I'm crossing the street, in case he yells 'allah akbar'"
"That homeless chick probably cleans up pretty nice. She wouldn't have any problem finding free rent with some dude, if she'd just wipe that shit off her face."
"Say, weren't you in The Fifth Element?"
"I bet gay guys tell you everyday that you look like a Creamsicle, followed by something totally gross."
"I'll have the hot sour soup, please -- oh, sorry."
"Please tell the person who gave you that outfit, that it's really not nice to play pranks on the blind."
"If you're heading to school right now, expect to receive a swirlie in the bathroom. Maybe two."
"Nice hat."
"I'm crossing the street."

John Craig said...

Anon --

You're worse than me.

Anonymous said...

It's my understanding that fashion is a female and homosexual ghetto, so it's not surprising that it doesn't appeal to heterosexual men.

I assume this is also the reason why female fashion models themselves don't look that great in the eyes of straight men. Presumably they represent what women and gays consider beautiful (for instance, they're tall and look kind of mean/bitchy, at least while on the catwalk).

I don't want to come off like a carrier of the "she's got pointy elbows" syndrome; the models are alright but there are much nicer looking girls working at my local supermarket...

John Craig said...

Anon --
True about the ghetto.

I think that it's partly a matter of what type of female you go for. Fashion designers tends to favor slim women on whom their clothes will hang right. And it somehow seems to be part of that culture that the models try to look haughty while sashaying down the runway. (I guess they think it adds to their "elegance.")

I have to be honest, though; a lot of these models, including most of the females shown in this post, look awfully good to me, I far prefer those types to Kim Kardashian or Jennifer Lopez.