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Saturday, January 11, 2014

Gender differences Part XV: gay men vs. lesbians

You'd think that gay men and gay women would have more in common than they do. Gay men tend to be more feminine than the average man, and gay women tend to be more masculine than the average woman. You might expect they'd meet in the middle somehow.

But other than their political movement, there seems to be little commonality.

Gay men prototypically want to be upper class women; it's often been pointed out that Sex and the City, which was written and directed by gay men, was really about four gay men.

Lesbians, on the other hand, sometimes seem to aspire to be lower middle class men. They drink beer, and look askance at anything that smacks of pretension.

Gay men don't resent women, in fact often become their "best friends." They tend not to befriend gay women, though, as they find nothing appealing about either their lifestyles or sense of fashion. Gay women are boring, dreary, dumpy and frumpy, the antithesis of things gay men like.

Gay women rarely become men's friends, and certainly never their "advisers" on matters of fashion and romance. When it comes to men, they exude a constant undercurrent of resentment.

Most lesbians don't even seem to particularly like gay men. They're just hunkered down into their own "womyn's commune."

Gay men are into plastic surgery, steroids, and bodybuilding. They flex, primp, pose, preen and wax.

Lesbians almost never get plastic surgery. They're not into femming themselves up, or becoming glamourpusses. Rather, they seem to let themselves go as a matter of principle, and regard any sign of superficiality as a character defect. (When was the last time you saw a lesbian on a diet? Or on a stair-stepper?)

The flagship lesbian sport, softball, doesn't exactly sculpt the body.

Gay men are into fashion, both men's and women's.

You'll almost never seen a lesbian who pays nearly as much attention to her outfits, makeup, and accessories as does the average transvestite.

Gay men speak with great animation, their voices conveying the full range of emotion and nuance.

Lesbians tend to speak in hollow tenor monotones.

Show business is the apotheosis of what turns gay men on, which is why the Oscars are so often called the gay Superbowl.

Lesbians have no such equivalent, merely the constant drone of the Public Broadcasting System.

Gay men have elevated "naughty" into an art form.

Lesbians never veer from the politically correct script.

Gay men are known for their great senses of humor.

Lesbians are, well, lesbians.

(I hadn't started out intending to make this pro-gay men and anti-lesbian; but somehow that's how it turned out.) 


Glen Filthie said...

John that is pretty much the way of it and if you said this in a public forum the dykes would be baying for your blood. (Up here in Canada the irrelevant fart suckers in our supreme court have ruled that truth can be construed as hate speech and be prosecuted under the law).

We just had to fire a lesbian in our shipping dept. She was big, fat and ugly. She started creeping the office women out with inappropriate propositions. Then she picked a fist fight with a trucker and ended up on the floor. I hate queers, I am a homophobe and somehow I always ended up having to go out there and speak to her because for some reason I was the only one she would listen to. She was a caricature of a low brow man in every respect. In the end she wouldn't even listen to me and she got canned.

My daughter is gay and we no longer speak - but I am pretty sure at least 75% of the stereotypes you listed will apply to her as well. I have nightmares of her acting like our shipper/receiver and living like that. Anyone that says homosexuality is beautiful and wonderful is full of it. For women it most often is not. There may be exceptions...but they ARE the exceptions.

John Craig said...

Glen --
I believe in full rights for homosexuals, at least gay marriage, and I know we differ on that, but I won't shy away from describing them the way they are.

I've met lesbians I like, but they do tend to be the exceptions. So many of them resent all men simply for being men, while at the same time decrying the "sexism" of those men, which doesn't come close to their own.

I'm familiar with Canadian hate laws, they are unfortunate. Truth is always the first victim with those.

bluffcreek1967 said...

John, I don't know if you'd agree with this or not, but in my observations homosexuals and lesbians, as much they try to avoid or even reject the traditional roles of man and woman for themselves, they often end up mimicking or implementing it in their own relationships.

In other words, one of them almost always takes the role of the man (being more dominant) while the other one takes on the role of the woman (being more feminine).

Thus, even in their rejection of such traditional roles (although I admit not all of them are as vigorous about it) for themselves, they still end up adhering to them in some ways.

Of course, I view it as a counterfeit, but it shows that in spite of their 'alternative lifestyle,' they still can't manage to somehow get away from the created order.

John Craig said...

Ambrose --
Interesting observation. I've seen that more with lesbians than with gay guys, strangely enough, even though gay men talk about "tops" and "bottoms" and you don't hear that kind of talk among lesbians. But I'm often left with the feeling after meeting or seeing a lesbian couple, "Yup, that's the one that wears the strap-on." With gay men, other than with jailhouse rape-type situations, I more often get the sense that both guys are equal, sexually speaking.

Of course, I'm talking strictly sexuality, whereas you may be talking in more general terms: division of household labor, etc.

Glen Filthie said...

I used to support gay marriage and gay rights John - but having seen so many of them up close now...I am not so sure.

I like to watch the dog fights within the leftist spamosphere and vomitoriums - you would be surprised at the level of understanding it will give you.

If you can handle the rancid stench, and if the site is still there...go visit It is a commiepalooza feminists, homos, socialists and other pondscum that allows them to discuss the issues that affect and interest them.

Years back they found out lesbians were 30% more prone to spousal abuse. Imagine the cacophony of 20,000 howler monkeys all going off at once! Why...huff! Puff!!! This ... was HATE! Hatey-hate hateness!!! Bring back the death penalty!!!!

Those loons were at each others' throats for weeks and were providing a level of comedy that would have to be seen to be believed!

Straight people that act like that should be sterilized and preferably culled at birth, LOL!

I don't think queers should be harassed...but nor should they be ignored when they display obvious signs of mental distress. That should go for everyone and usually does but the queers get a pass because political correctness demands it. That isn't good for anyone, even the queers themselves.

John Craig said...

Glen --
I was amazed when I saw that statistic about how lesbians are more likely to get violent against their partners than men are, especially given that men are much more violent than women overall.

The fact that statistics like that are never mentioned by the mainstream media because they don't support the narrative they favor is pathetic, disgusting, even infuriating. The only statistics fit for public consumption are those which show men abusing women and whites discriminating against minorities. Anything that doesn't fit that framework goes straight down the memory hole.

Pavonine99 said...

This is similar to what I said elsewhere, but I find that many people from all walks of life are vulgar,ignorant,or vicious, but people only pay attention to it when it they see it in minorities.

John Craig said...

Pavonine --
I agree that people from all walks of life are vulgar, disgusting, etc, but I don't think people only pay attention when that behavior is exhibited by minorities. I think it's always noted, and if anything, people are more reluctant to give voice to their observations when the behavior is exhibited by minorities.

Pavonine99 said...

Perhaps I should have said that people either pay too much attention to the "badness" of minorities, or they simply sweep everything under the rug, deending on their agenda.

John Craig said...

Pavonine --
Can't disagree with you there.

Anonymous said...

Hi John,

I am a lesbian and a huge fan of your blog. I always chuckle to myself whenever I read your posts on lesbians (many of us do have Prince Valiant haircuts!); I've never been remotely offended by anything you've said. Although it saddens me a little bit that you have found the majority of us to be so unpleasant, I appreciate your honesty and agree with many (but not all!) of the points you have made. I don't think the 'LGBT' community has the right to demand acceptance from mainstream society, merely tolerance. I am sick and tired of politically correct thinking and speech; it's so refreshing to read a blog like yours.

Keep up the 'hate speech'!

John Craig said...

Anon --
Thank you so much; that comment actually cheered me up. You're a breath of fresh air, the kind of lesbian who has far more common sense than most heterosexual women. If I said I find the majority of lesbians unpleasant, I misspoke; but there do seem to be a lot who just automatically resent men because they're men. (Maybe 50%? That's not quite a majority.) I'm sure you know the type I'm talking about.

Anyway, thanks again, and congratulations on your ability to step outside your "assigned role."

Anonymous said...

Hi John,

Please accept my apologies for any misrepresentation of your views on my part; I was making an assumption based on a number of different postings (recalled vaguely from memory, which is never a good idea) and some of the things you wrote in your comment to ‘Glen Filthie’. I shouldn’t have made the assumption. I don’t recall you ever stating that you think the majority of lesbians are unpleasant. Forgive my female logic!

A lot of lesbians do indeed hate men and I know exactly the type you are talking about. However, within my local LGBT ‘community’ (where everyone is welcome, except conservatives), I’ve noticed that the man-hating types tend to be older women (40+). Thankfully most of the younger lesbians don't seem to have a problem with men, gay or straight. I hope this is a sign that things are improving but I don’t doubt that there will always be man-haters among us.

As a young woman in my 20s, I rarely get the opportunity to talk to people who can think for themselves. It’s impossible to have an honest discussion with my friends (gay or straight) on any topic that involves women, minorities, or any other special group. The politically correct line must be toed at all times! I wish there were more people like you around.

John Craig said...

Anon --
No apologies necessary. I may well have said that at some point (despite my weaselly backpedaling above), and if i didn't, I certainly implied it.

I understand your frustration talking to your PC friends. (It is amazing how people who toe the PC line tend to sound like zombies.) In any case, you're certainly welcome to comment here and "talk" to me anytime. (If you are going to comment regularly, sign with a nickname or something so I know who it is.)

And I wish there were more people like YOU around.

Prince Valiant said...

Hi John,

Thank you very much for the invitation. I shall occasionally comment under the name of Prince Valiant. I promise not to overstay my welcome!



John Craig said...

Sue --
People like you, who actually worry about overstaying their welcome, never do.

Anonymous said...

Now that we've stereotyped the LGBT community...lets do the opposite. :p Well....

Straight white men tend to LOVE golf, beer, exercising, cheating on their wives, and discriminating against minorities. Loll soo funny right