tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post3263242848316128086..comments2024-02-17T04:06:00.805-05:00Comments on Just Not Said: Aspie disapprovalJohn Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-76801894727672577362023-05-03T09:06:37.754-04:002023-05-03T09:06:37.754-04:00Gethin --
Just took a look at the video. There'...Gethin --<br />Just took a look at the video. There's a lot of overlap between different syndromes, though Aspergers and PPD aren't two that ever would have occurred to me. There is supposed to be strong co-morbidity between narcissism and paranoia, and I've witnessed thane in person. That one makes sense, in that with both groups, it's "all about them," as the psychiatrist in the video said about PPD. (And to answer your question, no, I hadn't been familiar with PPD as a separate syndrome; was quite familiar with the trait, and how it manifested itself elsewhere, but not as an official syndrome of its own.)<br /><br />I think what I said before is that Aspies are LIKE narcissists in that they can't admit when they're wrong. They aren't actually narcissists, and give off a whole different vibe. All the narcissists I know would give off an air of being quite pleased with themselves all the time, which Aspies don't. <br /><br />Totally agree about those who can't/don't have fun disapproving of others who do. The classic example was of old people disapproving of the "morality" of young people who have sex (of whatever kind) because they themselves are past the age where it's possible. A lot of leftist politics has at its root this sort of jealousy: of good looks, of brains, of athletic success, of money, etc. Look into the early lives of a lot of leftists and you'll find this "root cause."John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-18646060382918600802023-05-03T07:07:40.138-04:002023-05-03T07:07:40.138-04:00You're right. I think you mentioned before tha...You're right. I think you mentioned before that Aspies are narcissists, who can never admit to any flaws. I'd be wasting my time and money. <br /><br />Have you read Robert Greene? He styles himself as the "Modern-day Machiavelli", so I figured he's right up your street. He covers narcissists, wilful depressives and similar losers in his books. In one of them (I think 'The 50th Law'?), he says that people who excessively moralise are invariably people who don't have fun in their own lives, so they begrudge fun in others. Since they can't explicitly say that, they do it indirectly by incessantly moralising. I can tell you now that the aforementioned woman definitely doesn't have fun, and probably secretly hates people who do. Greene's advice for dealing with such types is simply avoiding them, since they'll go out of their way to make your life as miserable as theirs.<br /><br />On a slightly different note: do you know much about Paranoid Personality Disorder? A friend, who also knows this very troubled woman, reckons she fits the diagnostic criteria for PPD. The main reason she thinks that is because the woman often interprets neutral or friendly actions as having been hostile, and reacts with actual hostility - which is baffling for those who don't know what is going on. <br /><br />I listened to a video (less than 5 minutes long) by a doctor on PPD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drzKThkBLOc<br /><br />Does that sound like people with Aspergers? Based on what I've seen, I think there's some overlap between Aspergers and PPD. <br /><br />- Gethin Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-33459809445565767202023-04-29T18:29:52.873-04:002023-04-29T18:29:52.873-04:00Gethin --
Nice thought, and if she actually read i...Gethin --<br />Nice thought, and if she actually read it, and took it to heart, it could make a difference. But I honestly doubt she'd read it, given that she likely thinks she doesn't need it. And there's a good probability she would feel tremendously insulted that someone felt she needed to read it, and would focus her anger on that anonymous gift-giver. So, personally, I wouldn't bother. Her problems aretooc deep-seated to be solved by the presentation of one bookJohn Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-41100392113343719052023-04-29T18:02:34.972-04:002023-04-29T18:02:34.972-04:00Should I buy Dale Carnegie's book and anonymou...Should I buy Dale Carnegie's book and anonymously slip it into her mailbox? Even though she is horrible to everyone, I feel sorry for her as she is clearly suffering. Since she always blames everyone else for her own failure to get on in society, she is clearly incapable of self-reflection. But maybe if an anonymous person sent her a book, she might read it.<br /><br />Or do you think it wouldn't make a difference? <br /><br />- Gethin Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-5351479007235732622023-04-29T17:28:29.302-04:002023-04-29T17:28:29.302-04:00Gethin --
Agree, it's not histrionic personali...Gethin --<br />Agree, it's not histrionic personality disorder. She's attempting to show people how good she is, hoping to win approbation that way, but as an Aspire, she simply has no clue about how to go about doing that. (Nor would she be inclined to do any soul-searching, as that would require some self-awareness and an ability to admit where she's wrong, two things Aspies totally lack.)<br />John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-81907540009321979892023-04-29T13:29:00.431-04:002023-04-29T13:29:00.431-04:00Thanks for this. I hadn't thought of it like t...Thanks for this. I hadn't thought of it like that before. <br /><br />Just so I'm sure I've understood correctly:<br />Her excessive moralising is her way of showing everyone what a "good" person she is, and thereby gain popularity? By incessantly condemning everyone, they will see what a morally-superior individual she is and flock to make friends with her?<br /><br />If so, I'm in shock that anyone can be so socially clueless. Being admonished is the last thing people want, particularly over trivialities. Tbh, I'm tempted to send her a copy of Dale Carnegie. But I'm making a genuine attempt to understand Aspie mentality here.<br /><br />After being expelled from the group, she sent 11 messages to its leader in the early hours of the morning, wailing about how unfairly she feels she's been treated. After all, from her perspective, she was only ceaselessly reprimanding everyone to help them become more moral, so she hasn't done anything wrong...<br /><br />It's the third group she's been banished from, in the space of four years. If I'd been ousted from so many groups, I'd do some serious soul-searching - whereas she thinks the only reason she was dismissed was because she was mistreated.<br /><br />- Gethin <br /><br />P.S. other than universally scolding everyone over trivialities, she doesn't do any other attention-seeking behaviours. So it's probably not HPD. Also, she has a poor fashion sense (trousers that need hemming and creased shirts) - which matters because histrionics usually have good fashion senses.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-77433149936645910032023-04-29T05:47:35.968-04:002023-04-29T05:47:35.968-04:00Gethin --
That does ring a bell. From the way you ...Gethin --<br />That does ring a bell. From the way you describe her, I'd guess she has Aspergers. The lack of awareness of the impression she is creating is telling. If the group leader is right, and she's doing it to get attention, that might mean histrionic disorder. But in my experience histrionics will do all sorts of outrageous things just to be the center of attention, and this woman just had the Aspie fault of excessive moralising in an attempt to show how "good" she is. John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-37418748797447711392023-04-28T18:47:29.308-04:002023-04-28T18:47:29.308-04:00I know someone IRL who is either autistic or has a...I know someone IRL who is either autistic or has a personality disorder (undiagnosed). She is 26 but, from speaking to her, you'd think she was 16. She got admitted to a group a few weeks ago and, within six days, was banished for incessantly moralising to the other members over trivial things. The group leader theorised that she's doing it to gain attention by finding any old thing she can admonish others for, so she can feel ethically superior. I would add that she's never had a long-term job. She's only ever worked two jobs and has been dismissed within months from both. She also barely has friends. So I think she is incessantly moralising as a way to compensate (in her mind) for these obvious deficits. <br /><br />I hadn't realised that this is frequent Aspie/narcissist behaviour.<br /><br />- Gethin Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-88418885813315095802019-01-26T23:46:53.616-05:002019-01-26T23:46:53.616-05:00Well if that's your main problem with Aapies i...Well if that's your main problem with Aapies it isn't a symptom I have. Again I suppose others could have it. I have been treated poorly by neurotypical people because of my naive trusting nature, so it's kind of hard not to feel resentment. Wait did I bring this thread back after two years?<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10682081147096092587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-43260208622065312022019-01-21T22:16:25.353-05:002019-01-21T22:16:25.353-05:00Unknown --
You sound quite reasonable, and I'm...Unknown --<br />You sound quite reasonable, and I'm inclined to take you at your word. I'm merely writing about my experience with Aspies, which I've found quite frustrating. And I don't mind criticism myself, but when that's combined with a complete inability to take criticism on the part of the critic, I find that hypocrisy annoying. John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-29604835079803434122019-01-21T21:56:53.667-05:002019-01-21T21:56:53.667-05:00I have Aspergers and some of what you said is on p...I have Aspergers and some of what you said is on point. Other things not so much. I try not to correct as much as I used to and admit I can be annoying (though less so as I've gotten older). I constantly add to my social cues list to help make social interactions easier.<br />I would say in some cases I (I don't know about Aspies in general) do have an advantage because of the disorder. For instance I'm more willing to offer help to new coworkers, have an excellent memory, see solutions to problems others wouldn't consider, and can remain calm under pressure (at 10 I made a 911 call when my mom died; the operator and others said afterwards I was calmer than most kids would've been at that age). Needless to say, there are numerous disadvantages too, and some neurotypicals haven't been kind about it.<br />I didn't know inability to accept criticism was an Aspie trait. I've actually asked people to criticize me to help improve social interactions among other things, so if it is one it's not one that I possess.<br />The point is I know I'm different and can be annoying and offensive at times (usually unintentionally). My advice to other Aspies is to try to learn social skills. I'm living proof it is possible.<br />Again you have some valid points. My main issue is that you generalized an already misunderstood group when it affects people in very different waysAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10682081147096092587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-79910534395793475212016-12-16T06:14:49.831-05:002016-12-16T06:14:49.831-05:00Anon --
I disagree about Gates; I don't think ...Anon --<br />I disagree about Gates; I don't think anybody has ever described him as charismatic, and the fact that he's "social" is merely a function of his money bringing him into contact with lots of people. I also don't think Aspergers precludes spots success. John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-26370576869769453042016-12-15T23:45:37.268-05:002016-12-15T23:45:37.268-05:00Okay.
As for the famous people,
I don't think ...Okay.<br />As for the famous people,<br />I don't think Bill Gates has it. He is charismatic and social. <br />I don't know about Al Gore. He was successful in school and sports so I'm not so sure.<br />Maybe both are on the spectrum, they have some mild form of autistic phenotype but not aspergers.<br /><br />I don't like how the others like the 200 posts you said are ruining it for everyone. If it's anyone hurting me or autistic people I think, it's them. They are making it harder for people with the same disorder as them who want to be left in peace. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-9709628621635214812016-12-15T22:22:03.745-05:002016-12-15T22:22:03.745-05:00Anon --
There were no posts telling them to commit...Anon --<br />There were no posts telling them to commit suicide, or calling them retards. And I've never heard of someone being attacked on the street for having Aspergers. Think of some of the extremely successful people who are widely thought to have it. Bill Gates. Al Gore. <br /><br />As far as sympathy goes, I think people are naturally inclined to be sympathetic to anyone who admits he has a weakness. The people who are annoying, as I said above, are those who never admit fault. Are Aspies more likely to be that way? Yes, but that doesn't mean they're all like that. John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-61720451113926681812016-12-15T22:11:29.257-05:002016-12-15T22:11:29.257-05:00That's true, those posts are annoying. But I a...That's true, those posts are annoying. But I am disturbed by some of the comments of the people annoyed by aspies. I can't help but imagine a scenario where they would have a double standard and be sympathetic to someone with another disorder,<br /><br />Life is already hard enough. I don't want to be attacked on the street or called a subhuman.<br />Honestly, I imagine you've removed or filtered out posts from people telling them to commit suicide or calling them retards.....<br /><br /> Wouldn't they be at fault too?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-83551283578802617862016-12-15T21:23:20.230-05:002016-12-15T21:23:20.230-05:00Anon --
The Aspies who are least annoying are thos...Anon --<br />The Aspies who are least annoying are those who admit they have it and try to counteract it. Honestly, you don't sound annoying. For annoying, look at the first 200 comments I got on my original post about Aspergers Syndrome:<br /><br />http://justnotsaid.blogspot.com/2011/08/aspergers-syndrome.html<br /><br />Those people are annoying, not just to me but I'm sure in real life as well, and for the same reason the narcissists are: because they'd never admit they're wrong. You don't sound that way at all.John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-90148398391375497902016-12-15T21:02:12.036-05:002016-12-15T21:02:12.036-05:00It's hard having a horrific disease. If I knew...It's hard having a horrific disease. If I knew you in person and I were to let you know in real life I was autistic, that may make you stop seeing me for who I am.<br /><br />It sounds strange, but be thankful you turned out healthy. I've been at war with God over this since I was a kid.<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-32343142134230292562016-12-15T20:05:31.663-05:002016-12-15T20:05:31.663-05:00Anonymous --
We can all be annoying from time to t...Anonymous --<br />We can all be annoying from time to time, though Aspies tend to be more so. And we can all be less annoying by making an effort to be less so. (Confession: I sometimes try to be more so.)<br /><br />I know one Aspie who wasn't annoying at all. John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-15688189585455558552016-12-15T20:00:15.511-05:002016-12-15T20:00:15.511-05:00I don't want to be annoying.
Does it have to ...I don't want to be annoying. <br />Does it have to be a part of who I am? I don't want it to be. I want to be an individual.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-29413214664795572042016-12-15T17:31:15.939-05:002016-12-15T17:31:15.939-05:00Anonymous Aspie --
No one with Aspergers has hurt ...Anonymous Aspie --<br />No one with Aspergers has hurt me. Aspies aren't evil like sociopaths; they're just annoying. <br /><br />But, no apologies necessary. John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-89874129172578463092016-12-15T12:43:47.333-05:002016-12-15T12:43:47.333-05:00I want to apologize on behalf of us. Maybe someone...I want to apologize on behalf of us. Maybe someone with asperger's hurt you, I am sorry if that happened. Or if neurodiversity attacked you, I know they can be awful.<br /><br /> I sometimes wonder if reincarnation exists, maybe I'm just burning off bad karma in this life. I better not make any new bad karma.<br /><br />Do you think something in society can change? What is the best solution now? How can we make the world better despite ASD having to exist.<br /><br />Maybe society is paying for some sins, I read plastic is linked to autism. I am the result of humanity harming the enviroment. I would like to believe there is something besides dumb chance.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-21717519642111468332016-12-14T20:43:04.459-05:002016-12-14T20:43:04.459-05:00Anon --
Couldn't agree more. An Aspie who won&...Anon --<br />Couldn't agree more. An Aspie who won't admit he's ever wrong, who constantly criticizes, and who may not even admit he has Aspergers, does inspire sympathy.John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-28804694489273450782016-12-14T20:32:46.509-05:002016-12-14T20:32:46.509-05:00The one's that deserve compassion are the one&...The one's that deserve compassion are the one's that ask for it. In other words, neurodiversity members won't get any. I think they end up harming autistic individuals rather than helping them. Maybe if the emphasized the suffering, deficits, and struggles and admit they need help rather than being a bunch of asses, then people will have sympathy. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-26565527163598119572016-12-13T17:54:45.348-05:002016-12-13T17:54:45.348-05:00Gethin --
Honestly, thats not something I've e...Gethin --<br />Honestly, thats not something I've ever noticed with them. Not saying it couldn't be true, just saying I haven't noticed. And I've known plenty of NT's (neurotypicals, in Aspie-speak) who DO have bad body odor. At my gym there are a couple of guys who don't seem to wash their workout clothes, they must just put them in their bag after their workout and then must just take them out again for the next workout, because you can smell them from 15 feet way, and they really stink. And there's another guy at my gym who reeks of cigarettes (he doesn't work out, just uses the steam and jumps into the pool to do two slow laps, that's it). But I don't say anything to any of them, I don't need the static. I've decided, though, that smelling bad like that is a form of rudeness, it's as bad as talking loudly on a cell phone in an enclosed area, maybe worse. John Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08729625146043379286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794535954827182754.post-63345387996598962322016-12-13T17:47:53.790-05:002016-12-13T17:47:53.790-05:00You've probably had a lot more contact with As...You've probably had a lot more contact with Aspies than I have because I'm yet to see that trait (though I believe you that they do that).<br /><br />This isn't relevant, but is poor personal hygiene a typical Aspie trait? I'm asking because I had a colleague at work who was a diagnosed Aspie and he stank strongly of body odour. My boss asked me to let him shadow me for a few days whilst he was very new and I had to pretend I was too hot so I could open the window to get rid of the smell. After that, I did get to know him a bit (thankfully, we didn't have to sit right next to each other anymore) and I thought he meant well; I never saw him deliberately do anything wrong, he was quick to apologise for any mistakes and we did have some interesting conversations. I never came up with a polite way to ask him to change his clothes more often though so I never said anything. I've read in textbooks that Aspies prefer it when people are open and honest, but reading blogs on Aspies made me worried he'd be offended after all. Did the Aspies you knew have poor hygiene? If so, did you come up with any polite ways of asking them to change their habits?<br /><br />- GethinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com