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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Sprinter names 2014

Just took a look at the yearly high school track rankings, and sure enough, among the top-ranked 100 meter dash runners there are a lot of creative given names.

A few of my favorites among the men:

Isak Washington. His parents must have taken one of those "Learning by Phonics" courses.

Aunrie Davis. His parents probably heard the French name "Henri" and thought it sounded classy.

Jahrod Henderson. Is "Jared" not distinctive enough?

Gamarquis Girdy. His parents must have liked the name "Marquis," but also wanted alliteration.

Devarius Turner. The various what?

Orion Salters. He's reaching for the stars.

Cravon Gillespie. Better that than Craven. Or Cravin'.

Jamire Jordan, JeMaun Charles. Why does JeMaun -- but not Jamire -- capitalize the "M"?

Deltron Hopkins. Sounds vaguely like a new technical gizmo.

Among the women:

Jazmen Bunch. It's undoubtedly meant to be a variation of Jasmine, but it also sounds a bit as if her parents named her after Duke Ellington, Count Basie, and Dizzy Gillespie, all at once.

I'Shunique Hamilton. I is unique?

Aminat Iriafen. Am I not good enough?

Tiffani Johnson. "Tiffany" isn't trashy enough?

Diamond Spaulding. She's some girl's best friend.

Essance Sample. You know how when you go by those perfume counters they give you a free spray?

Rhesa Foster. Is a rhesa a female rhesus?

Glorilisha Carter. Were her parents trying to evoke glory or a gorilla or something delicious? Or all three?

Tope Williams. From To drink alcoholic liquor habitually and to excess.

Chanell O'Conner. Ms. O'Conner is ranked #72, not #5.

Deja Young. Where have I heard that name before?

Akita Cook. Her parents also considered Malamute, Husky, and Shih Tzu.

Labria King. Thank goodness for that "r."

Chassity Love. Her name is not quite an oxymoron.


Dave Moriarty said...

I think we considered all of those names as possibles for our children.
Then again my kids are not world class sprinters either.

In the end we went with shorter more conventional ones so I could spell them consistently.

John Craig said...

Dave --
Gotta be honest with you: Stephie always struck me as more of a Tiffani.

Aminat Iriafen said...

I feel flattered that I made it on your blog...but coming from the girl you wrote about my name means trustworthy fyi. Have a good day!

John Craig said...

Aminat --
Thank you for your good sportsmanship.

Yours was actually the one name on this list I was hesitant to put in, since your last name indicates it may be a foreign name rather than a "made up" American one.

Congratulations on your running success.