Among the men:
Rayvon Grey. Quoth Mr. Grey, "Nevermore."
Sincere Williamson. You can take him at his word.
Ju McCarthy. Were his parents pro- or anti-Semitic?
Quez Bradley. Go ahead, ask him anything.
Damir White. Da mere mention of his name scares his suburban rivals.
Ski Nolan. Is he in the wrong sport?
Excellence Perry. Always nice to see an aspirational name among the Devontae's and Jahvanne's.
Tre'kel Lockett. His parents believed in Reaganomics.
Daekwon Garland. His other sport is a Korean martial art.
Rino Watson. Don't get in this guy's way.
Shamon Ehiemua. His parents wanted to instill a sense of guilt.
Rogerous Swain. He's sorta like Roger, without actually being Roger.
Trevious Frazier. Previously known as Joe.
Anterius Brown. His brother is Posterius Brown.
Jimmerick Martin. There once was a man named Martin….
Princeton Liggins. If his parents had been just a tad more ambitious, he'd be Harvard Liggins.
JaQuere Williams. His parents are pro-LGBT.
Emonnie Miller. It's a little like Bitcoin.
Schezarone Carter. His sister is Scheherazade.
Genesis Lucius. He was there at the start.
Makavelli Smith. He knows how to psych out his opponents.
Knikolas Bentley. A knew twist on the kname.
Marquis Lauer, Prince Forson, Prince Smith, Prince Boadi, Royaal Jones. Track and field, the sport of kings.
Kabongo Barry. That actually sounds like how a racist white might refer to a black man.
Malik Gurley, Ramone Newland, Jawan Miller, Devonte Clark, Tremaine Moore, Akeem King, D'Andre Swift, Quashawn Harrison, Dante Brown, Deion Hair-Griffin, Antwan Brooks. The weird thing is, these names actually sound almost normal now.
Among the women:
Dajour Miles. And the soup of the day is…
Dymonic Tann. Is an exorcism required?
Rainasia Harris. AKA "Monsoonmacau."
Janoah Syers. No, I don't know her.
Nija Redmond. I nija to tie my shoelaces for me.
Queen Divine. Hers was a wonderful reign.
Nicquayleeonntea Moore. 'Nuff said.
Cee Asha Gist. See Asha run.
Sheqoya Moore. She sounds tall.
Prommyse Hoosier. She actually runs for Warren Central HS in Indiana, which makes one wonder about the derivation of her last name as well.
Jhetaime Lucan. I like you, too.
Mee'Shaunda Roddy. Me John Craig.
Dasia Pressley, Symone Darius, Chanel Brissett, Tierra Crockrell, Shameka Grover, Destinee McGrady……These, too, sound almost like normal names these days.
I suppose this is how all names originally got traction. "John" must have sounded weird to the people who first heard it. And it's not as if it's been treated with a lot of respect in the intervening years. The name now either refers to what you sit on to take a crap, or to a prostitute's customer (who presumably can't get any without paying for it).
Even with those connotations, though, I'm still glad my parents gave me a normal name.
That said, after you look at enough of these sprinter names, the realization sinks in that a lot of these parents wouldn't be caught dead giving their children some boring old white name. To them, that would probably feel derivative, and maybe even a little as if they were knuckling under to The Man. Also, I get the vague sense that some of these parents feel that the more unique the name they bestow upon their child, the more outstanding their child will be.
The whole thing is not entirely dissimilar to the evolution of black fashion sense over the past 50 years.