So the question for today is, how badly does Joe Biden want Barack Obama to be assassinated? It must be one of the first things he thinks about in the morning and one of the last things on his mind as he drifts off at night. He must dream about it when he's sleeping. He must feel a sharp pang of desire every time he sees that chair in the Oval Office.
Between his two Presidential runs in 1988 and 2008, Biden was just biding his time. (His name really ought to be "Joe Bidin'.")
Biden was first elected US Senator in 1972, when Obama was 11. He must hate playing second fiddle to a man 19 years younger. That is probably the first time you've heard that particular statistic -- but how many times do you think it has occurred to Biden himself?
Biden must hate having to pretend to adore Obama. Whenever you see them together, Biden is all smiles and bonhomie, but that has to be an act. (The proof is that Biden is able to produce it so readily, for every occasion).
How often does Biden wish for a fairy godmother (a latter day version of Lee Harvey Oswald or Sirhan Sirhan) who can make his dreams come true? (Where's James Earl Ray when you need him?) How often does Biden look at those Secret Service agents surrounding Obama and think, c'mon, why don't you guys just relax a little?
Biden probably ponders how he would act at Obama's funeral. He's a good actor; he'd be able to put on a properly somber face. He's probably got his eulogy prepared and memorized already. And he knows exactly how he'd phrase his condolences to Michelle; after all, he's already rehearsed the scene in his own mind many times.
Air Force One could always go down in a storm. Or maybe an al Qaeda operative could take it down with a Stinger missile. Hey, stranger things have happened.
Or what if Obama just had a heart attack while playing basketball? (What kind of poetic justice would that be?)
Obama wouldn't even have to die -- maybe he could just have an incapacitating stroke. Then, when people would inevitably say that Biden should take over, he could act as if he were completely offended at the very suggestion that he might in any way even think about being disloyal that way. But, in time, well, maybe he could reluctantly allow himself to be persuaded. Then people would see that in fact he was a much better President than that basketball-playing fool.
A heartbeat away from the Presidency: so near, and yet so far. When you think about it, it really is a refined form of torture.
(By the way, I feel the opposite. I fervently hope that Obama lives long past the possibility of martyrdom, long enough for the public to wake up to his true character.)