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Saturday, November 29, 2014

Implants

Today I kicked 50 meters long course on a kick board in 36 seconds. That's as fast as I could go 30 years ago. I can't swim nearly as fast as I could back then, I can't run as fast, and my right shoulder won't even allow me to do bench press anymore. My back is stiff when I wake up in the mornings, and a fair amount of my hair has gone MIA. But for some weird reason my kick is hanging in.

I'm sort of like a 60-year-old woman who got implants a few decades ago. Everything else on her has shriveled, wrinkled, and sagged. But her breasts are still standing proud and firm, almost mocking the rest of her.

Just as my kick seems to be taunting the rest of me, all of which is falling apart.

10 comments:

Glen Filthie said...

LOL.

Stop your whining John. It's unmanly, and there are a lot of good looking 60 year old women around.

You can bitch about this stuff when you're 85. ;)

John Craig said...

Glen --
But whining is so much fun!

(And as people who know me -- or swimming -- well will probably recognize, the post was really nothing more than a thinly disguised boast about my fast 50 kick.)

And yes, I see desirable 60-year-old women around my hometown on a regular basis.

Steven said...

I hate breast implants but now I can see the virtue of them.

I have no idea how good your feat but its pretty cool you can still do it as well now.

John Craig said...

Steven --
Not into implants myself, even if they don't age.

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I too have injuries. I refer to them as battle scars.

I am laughing my implants out at this Slate bullshit. PD James, the British author, has just died. She isn't cold in her grave before she gets hauled in front of the Homintern.

http://tinyurl.com/le8ntta

Being enthusiastically unqueer, I can. Can you?

Coco

Coco

John Craig said...

Coco --
Well, I can't quite laugh my implants out, as I don't have any, but I'm always amazed at liberals who feel comfortable passing judgment on historical figures because they didn't conform to the politically correct standards of this particular era. For instance, Columbus, for being an "imperialist." He simply did what people did back then, which was explore unknown lands and conquer, if possible. Or George Washington, for having been a slaveowner. They were just creatures of their time, period.

The funny thing is, the PC libs who pass judgment on historical figures are exactly the types who are conformists at heart, and they themselves would have undoubtedly been the biggest conformist of any era, whether that was a time of exploration and conquest, or a time of slave-holding.

I read that article you linked. It's pretty funny that the gays feel the same as certain feminists do, i.e., that all fictional characters of their particular persuasion must be portrayed in a positive light. I can't imagine a more narrow-minded attitude.

For some reason I'm glad to hear you're enthusiastically hetero.

Anonymous said...

I don't really have implants. I was just funnin'.

"For some reason I'm glad to hear you're enthusiastically hetero."

I am, too. I have to say, homosexuality is something I just do not fathom. And more weird - I can understand old fashioned femme drag queens more than reasonably masculine homosexuals.

I have a theory that the former are males who were insufficiently testosteronized in utero. They can't help their condition. But they are NOT women in men's bodies and surgery won't help them.

Coco

John Craig said...

Coco --
Glad to hear it.

I actually have a fair amount of sympathy for the gays. They can't help whom they're attracted to, any more than you and I can. It's not a matter of choice. And as I always ask my male friends who imply that it is, could you just will yourself into wanting to suck penises? (That usually wins, or at least ends, the argument.)

I also have sympathy for the gay liberation movement, at least as far as its main goal: all they want is the right to marry, same as heaters have. (The moment they start wanting extra privileges, my sympathy will vanish.)

I agree that a lot of feminized men simply didn't get enough testosterone in utero; you can see it in their faces, and lack of muscle, nothing they can do about it. One weird thing though, steroids now seem to be rampant in the gay community, so you see a lot of guys who look macho at first glance, though when you look at them closely, there's almost always a tell.

And yes, the power of suggestion seems to have taken hold in the gay community and a lot of guys who would have just been (playful) drag queens 30 years ago are now saying they're really women. I don't buy it.

Anonymous said...

I don't have any objections to gay marriage. What I don't like is creating children who are alienated from one bio parent. This, to me, is wrong.

If a gay man takes steroids as an adult, it doesn't make up for the lack of testosterone in utero, which is crucial. I should have been clearer though: I don't think this is the cause of male homosexuality.

I do think it's the cause of hyper-effeminacy, which is what feminine "transgenders" are. Then there are other trannies who are men who are turned on by themselves as women. The difference between the two types is amazing. The masculine trannies are these big clodhoppers in skirts and pearls. They think that having a pageboy and slathering on makeup makes them look like women.

It doesn't.

Coco

John Craig said...

Coco --
The second I read "clodhoppers in skirts and pearls" I thought of Buffalo Bill, from "Silence of the Lambs."

There is something that seems awfully sick about a lot of them, even if they're not serial killers.