After the escape, Trump tweeted, "Can you envision Jeb Bush or Hillary Clinton negotiating with 'El Chapo', the Mexican drug lord who escaped from prison?…"
(In a roundabout way, Trump was actually complimenting El Chapo here, by suggesting that the other American Presidential candidates were not the drug lord's equal.)
Trump, however, then followed up with, "…Trump, however, would kick his ass."
A Twitter account claiming to be El Chapo's then responded, "Keep screwing (with us) and I'm going to make you eat your fucking words you lousy white faggot."
(This response is more likely to have come from one of El Chapo's sons. Whoever it was who tweeted this evidently has not yet been swayed by the Norte Americano movement for gay liberation.)
All in all, it's made for a pretty entertaining mano a mano confrontation. This calls for a comparison between the two men on the various measures they seem to care about.
Trump boasted about his net worth of 8.7 billion when he announced his candidacy last month. But Forbes magazine, a more impartial source, recently listed his net worth as $4 billion. El Chapo is said by Wikipedia to have a net worth of one billion; but that, too, seems inaccurate. Anybody who keeps $207 million in cash lying around one of his houses likely has a net worth far, far higher than that. And El Chapo's power has been said by some to exceed that of Pablo Escobar, who at his peak was supposedly worth $25 billion.
This one goes to El Chapo (with a low degree of certainty).
Here, too, it's a little hard to compare. The only picture available of one of El Chapo's houses was this one of the Mazatlan vacation home which was raided:
It featured a manmade cave with hot tub:
And a private zoo with well-cared for exotic animals, including these black panthers:
El Chapo reportedly owns fifteen other houses as well as four farms, but pictures of those are not available.
Trump's most famous house was Mar-a-Lago:
But Trump often buys real estate as an investment rather than a place to live. He bought Mar-a-Lago in 1985, had it renovated, and in 1995 turned it into a club with paying guests.
His main residence is a three story penthouse at the top of Trump Towers...
….decorated, of course, in Louis XIV style.
This one goes to Trump, though also with a low degree of certainty since information on El Chapo's other residences or farms is hard to come by.
Trump dresses nicely, as befits a successful businessman. But his well-cut suits usually get overlooked because one's eye is inevitably drawn to that swirling monstrosity on top of his head:
It's also hard to get beyond his facial expression, which almost always seems to radiate unbridled egotism.
El Chapo often dresses in such a way that he would be indistinguishable from the mass of day laborers you'll find standing on street corners in many American cities:
Of course, Trump pretty much has to dress the way he does, whereas Guzman has no need to impress his cohorts with his duds.
Trump certainly gets the nod for fashion sense, but El Chapo is the better man for his evident lack of vanity.
(Since we're basically talking machismo here, the latter is probably more important.)
El Chapo's artistic tastes seem to run to gold-plated weaponry:
But if Louis XIV had had an AK-47, he'd probably have had it coated with gold leaf as well. And Trump, after all, did own the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City...
…which even Louis might have found a bit garish.
So this one is a tie.
Here's is El Chapo's current wife, Emma Coronel:
But here's Melania now, Botoxed beyond recognition:
Mrs. Guzman is certainly more attractive than the current Mrs. Trump (currently). Then again, the second Mrs. Trump, Marla Maples, may have been better-looking than either:
Still, it's now that counts, so by that measure, El Chapo wins.
When it comes to who could more easily order a hit on the other, there's no question: this is El Chapo's world.
Of course, if Trump gets elected President, and has the US military at his disposal, the odds shift drastically. The Donald's election seems doubtful, despite recent polls, but if he ever did find himself in the White House, he would have the capacity to reduce all of Mexico to smoldering ruins. (And, truth be told, he does seem inclined in that direction.)
But, once again, it's now that counts, so El Chapo wins.
Here, of course, there is no question: Trump is free to appear in public, and speechify to his heart's content, whereas El Chapo is wanted, and must scurry through various dirt tunnels in order to stay out of -- or escape -- prison.
Evidently one of El Chapo's biggest weaknesses is fine food. Often diners in some of Sinaloa's finer restaurants would occasionally find themselves surrounded by gunmen who would politely ask them for their cellphones. Then El Chapo would come in and order a meal with his henchmen. Once he finished, he would always foot the bill for the entire restaurant as a way to repay the diners for their inconvenience, then return their phones.
Still, Trump, who also has the look of a man who appreciates food, is the winner here.
The final, and perhaps ultimate measure, is how much respect each man commands in his own country.
In this country, Trump is widely viewed as a buffoonish blowhard, and his candidacy as an exercise in vanity. All sorts of people feel free to mock his hair, and even question whether it's his own. The now defunct Spy magazine regularly referred to him as a "short-fingered vulgarian." And how many headlines will read, "You're fired!" after Trump eventually drops out of the Republican race?
In his country, El Chapo is a folk hero who has had songs written about him.
Niccolo Machiavelli once said, "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
El Chapo actually seems to have pulled off the trick of being both feared and loved in his own country.
Trump inspires neither emotion.
Winner on this count, and also overall: El Chapo.