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Saturday, October 17, 2009


When I was young and I saw older guys with hair coming out of their ears, I would think, ugh, how gross.

Now, of course, I need to groom there.

When I was young and I would see old guys with their stomachs sagging over their belts, I would vow never to get let that happen to me.

But skin is basically like a rubber band that just loses its elasticity over time, and there's little that can be done about it. As I have discovered.

When I was young and would see old guys fall asleep in front of the TV, I would think, how pathetic: why don't they just turn it off when they feel themselves getting tired?

Now my television is like a second mother, singing me lullabies every evening.

I was always nearsighted, so couldn't get my mind around the concept that some people needed glasses to see things up close. After I got LASIKS, I was proud to finally see both near and far.

Now I have a hard time focusing on the crossword puzzle in the morning. But I still refuse to get reading glasses. Nothing says old (and disapproving) like staring over a pair of half-moons.

When I was young and would hear about older people not being able to sleep through the night, I would think, they're just not exercising hard enough.

Now I know that's not the case.

When I was young, I never actually thought that I wouldn't get old. But I did sorta feel that way.

Mark Twain was right: life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Now that I think of it, that would actually make death a lot sadder. (Death is easier to face if you're half dead already.) But life would certainly be happier.


Anonymous said...

Oh dear John, not uplifting again!

John Craig said...

Guy -- I'm afraid that's just not in me.

Anonymous said...

At least let me try to explain this to other readers of this blog. I've known John for a few years now and he is slightly older than I am ( 50 ). This guy is a "rock"...seriously, if you hold the world record for the fly at any age group...thats something to be said ! Most of us would only go in one direction while in a pool...down to the bottom...John's work ethic regarding fitness is top notch, he shows little to no signs of aging and he constantly motivates me to step up my workouts. At my age I'm still able to pound the snot out of most 18 year olds...although Johns son did blow by me on run last week....We all know that will not occur again !!! Bottom line.....Your as young as you feel, keep pushing the envelope every day..or my personal favorite " Pain is Weakness Leaving The Body "
Mad Dog

John Craig said...

Tom --
Thank you; and by the way, you're harder-looking than me.

I think the real difference is, most people lead more productive lives than me; I have nothing better to do than go to the gym every day and work out. Still, even with that, all the things I said in the post are true: falling asleep in front of the television, hair coming out of the ears, etc.

John Craig said...

Tom --
PS -- By merely approving your comment I've committed an act of unpardonable egotism; the problem is, you're too scary a guy for me not to publish your comment.

Anonymous said...

I saw the picture of you in the "choke" post. All I can say is that Tom must look truly scary! ;)

Now having just used a little smiley icon, I hope to read a post from John verbally eviscerating icon users.

John Craig said...

Anonymous --
Tom DOES look scary. Think Travis Bickle (Robert DeNiro) in Taxi Driver, after he shaved his head. ;)

BTW, you offset your use of the icon by using the word "eviscerate." I've always found the mixture of high and low brow very appealing.

Anonymous said...

Regarding aging, definite changes come as we grow older!