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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

An embarrassing vice

(said after standing up): My name is John Craig and I am an online Scrabble-aholic.

If you're an alcoholic, at least you have a grandly exuberant, stylishly wasteful problem (that is, before your life completely falls apart). The same might be said of a cocaine habit. You can even make a post-addiction career out of going around lecturing others about the evils of substance abuse (all the while harboring a fairly obvious nostalgia for your glory days).

But online Scrabble? It's the nerdiest of vices, the kind of thing you indulge in only if you have neither the courage nor style to become addicted to something that makes more of a, well, statement. You just sit in your room by yourself and peck away at the keyboard, always telling yourself that this is the last game. But then, somehow, you always end up clicking on that "play again" button.

It's like being a masturbaholic.

It's just plain embarrassing.


Anonymous said...

Another reason for you to bite the bullet and get a Face Book account. They have all those addicting scrabble games, and you could pit and compare yourself against all your friends. Also your blog leadership would soar as your sometimes crazy, sometimes right-on, always interesting ramblings go viral.


John Craig said...

"Crazy"? "Ramblings"?

Ahem. When do you consider me crazy other than when I talk about sasquatch?

(You do have me pondering Facebook, even though my daughter has expressly forbidden me to get an account.)

Anonymous said...

You have been forbidden?!?! Well now that's the third and final reason to open an account.

And you're right. I apologize. I should be more careful in my choice of words. I meant to say blog readership vs. leadership. ;)

John Craig said...

Michael --

Nice try.

I'm still waiting for you to back up your "crazy" claim.

(And yes, it's about time I rebelled against my daughter's authority.)

Anonymous said...

   /ˈkreɪzi/ Show Spelled [krey-zee] Show IPA adjective, -zi·er, -zi·est, noun, plural -zies.
mentally deranged; demented; insane.
senseless; impractical; totally unsound: a crazy scheme.
Informal . intensely enthusiastic; passionately excited: crazy about baseball.
Informal . very enamored or infatuated (usually fol. by about ): He was crazy about her.
Informal . intensely anxious or eager; impatient: I'm crazy to try those new skis.
Informal . unusual; bizarre; singular: She always wears a crazy hat.
Slang . wonderful; excellent; perfect: That's crazy, man, crazy.
likely to break or fall to pieces.
weak, infirm, or sickly.
having an unusual, unexpected, or random quality, behavior, result, pattern, etc.: a crazy reel that spins in either direction.

John, I'm sure Hoff had definitions 6,7 or 10 in mind.

John Craig said...

Guy --
Thank you, but you don't know Hoff. He's too, uh, definition #1.

Anonymous said...

LOL! Thank you for backing me up Guy. John's blog is indeed a #10. I'm definitely a #1!!

John Craig said...

Guy -- There you go. Michael (Hoff) is definitely very skillful at rolling with the punches. (Remember the "shame on me!") post? That was him.

My blog may be a #10 but I personally am more of a #8.

Anonymous said...

I like to think I'm more of a #6.
PS Don't buy the #8 for you John - not for the feisty bantam cock. I think you're just smarting from teen kid put downs.

John Craig said...

Guy --
Definition #6 fits you in terms of your interests, but not your outward appearance: you come across too sane. And I'm only a #8 in comparison to Michael, who is so good at social jiu jitsu. Of course, he's also a #1, as I mentioned earlier; the proof is that he doesn't believe in sasquatch.