In the previous post I described how my son had mocked my narrow readership a few days ago. That wasn't the only insult he hurled my way last week.
At one point I mentioned to him that there were a couple of jobs I think I'd be good at, and which I'd enjoy, but which I could never get. (Retirement has started to seem like purgatory.) One job would be working for the FBI tracking down and helping convict sociopaths (not necessarily serial killers). Another would be teaching a course on sociopathy at the college level. My son agreed, "Yeah, you'd never be able to get those jobs," then added, "You know what I think you'd be good at? Being a Squeegee guy."
At one point he expressed annoyance that I would write those pieces about basic training, etc, which were essentially pieces about him. He shook his head disgustedly and said, "Telling you something is a little like saying it into a microphone."
"Dad, I care about you about as much as Tyke [our dog] cares about the French stock market."
Once, at the pool, Johnny put his hands on his pectoral muscles and pushed downward, as if to prematurely demonstrate the effect of gravity on an aging body. "Look," he said, "I'm Dad."
And, of course, the old standby: "You can't be my real father. You're too ugly. My real father is Sean Connery."
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4 comments:
John,
Great blog, I thought my son was the only one who spoke that way to his father. ( Trust me he doesn't do it that often and usually, only with good intentions....at 51 I will still kick his butt ) I'm sure both our sons will learn in a short time just how difficult life can be. When that day comes they'll say to themselves how in hell did the "old man" do so much in such a short amount of time.
Tom
Tom --
Thank you. I doubt Johnny will ever be saying that about me, but it's a nice thought.
John,
Some day he will really appreciate you! Right now they think they are so smart! I've included George in this as well. All three of my kids can be terribly obnoxious. But the two older ones, almost 22 and almost 21, have improved and seem more appreciative. I think it all has to do with brain development and lack of experience. My father would always recite a quote he thought was attributed to Mark Twain (not sure if that was true) when i was a teenager and extremely obnoxious myself. It went something like this: "when i was 15 I could not believe how stupid my father was. But when I was 21 I could not believe how much the old man had learned in 6 years." :)
And, I think you would do well teaching! You should definitely pursue that thought! Donna
Donna --
Thank you. And I'm pretty sure that is a Mark Twain quote.
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