Gender differences, Part III: Working out

If you had to summarize the differences between the way men and women work out, it would be as follows: men try to add, women to subtract.

This makes evolutionary sense: both sexes want to emphasize their secondary sexual characteristics. Men try to augment their masculine aura by adding muscle to their arms and torsos and thighs: they want to advertise their high testosterone levels. Women generally try to subtract fat so as to achieve the perfect waist to hips ratio, which advertises their child-carrying capability. Exercisers don't think quite in those terms, of course, they simply think in terms of looking good. But what "good" consists of depends entirely on their gender.

No one ever questions their own physical ideal. If you ever suggested to a male bodybuilder that he would look better if he slimmed down, he would look at you as if you were crazy. And if you ever suggested to the average woman at a gym that she would look better with bulked up deltoids, she would express revulsion.

As a result, bench press and other weight racks are usually dominated by men, whereas treadmills, stair steppers, and elliptical machines are usually populated by women.

But there are many other noticeable gender differences at the gym.

You see dark patches on men's shirts far more often than on the women's. And when you get a whiff of bad body odor, the culprit is almost always a guy. Yet roughly 70% of women carry water bottles, whereas maybe 10% of men do. One would think that given men's greater propensity to sweat, it would be the other way around.

Women are much more likely to have a personal trainer accompany them through their rounds. This probably has something to do with men not feeling they need directions any more while working out than while driving. And, perhaps, with women's desire for a certain kind of pampering.

It's usually men who seem to admire themselves most in the gym mirrors. And men seem to care more about what they look like from the front, whereas women care more about their rear angle. You never see men turn around to view their tushies in the mirror. At least in public.

A guy trying to squeeze out one last bench press rep will groan as if in the throes of a particularly intense orgasm. I have yet to hear a woman sound as if she's coming at the end of her set.

Women do more stretching. Stretching doesn't lead to increased bulk, so most men don't bother.

Classes are the province of women. Any man in a step, pilates, yoga, or water aerobics class looks like either a wimp or a voyeur.

Women are far more likely to read something when on a cardio machine. I can't recall ever having seen a man with a book or magazine perched in front of him while on the elliptical or stair climber.

Men are more likely to gear their exercises to a specific sport. You can often tell their sport by their workout routine. A woman's primary sport is carving the fat off her thighs.

Men are far more likely to require spotters (partners who will help them hoist a weight up once their own muscles have reached failure).

You see a lot of women walking on the treadmill. Men either run or don't get on. In my hometown, women often walk side by side on the street while power walking, forcing all cars to swerve widely. (I always have to repress a desire to run them over.)

Men almost always jog alone. About a third of the time you see women jogging, they are doing it with a friend.

One similarity between the sexes: we're all trying to recapture our lost youth.