An open letter to Michelle Obama

To the First Lady:

We in the Fat Liberation movement, aka Fat Power, take strong exception to your recent campaign to promote prejudice against people of substance. Your "Let's Move" program has helped marginalize a group which has been disenfranchised for too long.

Perhaps if you, Michelle, had chubby children  you might feel differently about picking on overweight kids. Had you ever suffered from that particular kind of prejudice yourself you might feel less comfortable belittling us.

The fully weighted face enough bias as it is. We are held up to public ridicule every day of our lives. We are made to feel unwanted and undesired: Every fat person has been called Jiggles, or Porky, or Lardbelly at some point in his life. This is hate speech.

Michelle, I have a dream. A dream that some day people will be judged not by the amount of their skin, but by the content of their characters. To that end I suggest we institute a system of affirmative action for fat people. Many studies have shown that the differently attractive don't make as much money as the conventionally beautiful. For too long we have been last hired and first fired.

We need new government employees whose job it is to ensure that three of every ten employees of every major company is fat. We need a work force that looks like America! Not only would this be a great stimulus program for the economy, it would be consistent with the other goals of Mr. Holder's Justice Department.

We also need sensitivity training sessions for those -- like you, Michelle -- who would stigmatize us and consign us to the fat ghetto. People like you must be taught that our diversity is our strength!

Fight fatism now!