My daughter's college is holding its annual Parents' Weekend for the parents of new freshmen from November 2nd through the 4th.
It's not too hard to predict how the weekend will go.
First we'll be greeted by an administrator who'll look absolutely delighted to see us, as if she's just absolutely certain, before she even gets to know us, that we're the most wonderful group of parents to ever grace her campus.
Then, basically, we get to spend the weekend being told what wonderful care they're taking of our little dears.
We'll be told how special our daughters must be to have gotten into such a selective college.
Then we'll be told that the college is a wonderfully nurturing environment where our daughters will be encouraged to explore their different intellectual interests, and where they will master skills essential to meaningful scholarship. They will learn to reason critically, and to argue clearly.
They will inform us that the young ladies will absorb "an interdisciplinary approach to learning," and a lot of other meaningless platitudes.
We'll be told of the world class faculty who will instill a great love of education into our daughters.
We'll be informed that our daughters will be molded into "independent thinkers."
We'll be told about the wonderful diversity on campus, how the college attracts students of every race, creed, and color from all around the world, and that this will confer "educational benefits" to our daughters.
We'll undoubtedly be told of the college's "wonderful community spirit" as well.
At some point we'll be given a speech by the college's distinguished president, who will tell us with great earnestness that the education the college offers extends beyond the classroom, and that their experience here will help students to go on to "make a meaningful contribution to the world." She will inform us that being a member of this college community is a lifetime affiliation, that the alumnae take "great pride" in having gone here, and that "lifelong friendships will be forged here."
Blah blah blah.
The worst part would be looking around at the faces of the other parents and seeing their expressions of sublime appreciation as they nod approvingly at all these cliches.
Seriously: what kind of person would want to spend their weekend listening to this kind of fulsome treacle?
Not me.
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12 comments:
All we got was a presentation on development plans for the new millenium.
G
G --
Which translates directly as, "Give us money."
I originally wrote this with translations included, but then took them out, deciding that was overkill. ("We hope you'll donate a lot of money" was the translation after President's line about "lifetime affiliation.")
PS -- Who knows, maybe they won't say all the stuff I'm predicting; I"ll never know.
Exactly! I prefer the translation "give us EVEN MORE money".
(I'm reminded of iowahawk's entertaining take http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2011/05/so-you-have-a-college-diploma.html)
Are we to understand from your last comment that you aren't planning to go??
G
G --
Yes, I remember that Iowahawk post, it was great.
You are correct, I am not going.
John--This is just step one of the brain washing process-which never ends-32+ yrs later my alma matter is still begging for donations. And, to insure that in the unlikely event that yours or anyone's else's daughter comes to their senses and realizes that they are wasting their life by going to college, this is a form of damage control. The first year is the most delicate time, hence the need for such. Just another typical way of an entity trying to get you to part with your money that they want to credit themselves with helping you make-college in general, that is. Like if you didn't go to college you'd instead go into a coma or in the deep freeze and stop living. Think Gates, Jobs, Zuckerberg, etc., the poor colleges missed out on them. Thanks for letting me vent! Brian
Brian --
The kinds of things a college would tell you on parents' weekend, just like the promotional materials on their websites, do seem of a piece with the kind of politically correct brainwashing that students undergo.
John,
Your daughter worked very hard to be accepted at a selective college. I wish you would reconsider and go to the parent's weekend. It isn't the same when just the mom goes. The weekend is about your daughter, not the school and this may come as a surprise, but it is not about you! Sorry to be scoldng but you are making a mistake. It won't be long and she will be living away permanently. Spend time and enjoy this big transition in her life! Donna
Donna --
Ouch!
I never thought it was about me, and I spend as much time as I can with her, which is why I drove her back there this past Sunday. But at Parents' Weekend I'd be spending time with school administrators and the kind of parent who think that's a good time. Sorry, but no thanks.
John,
Your wife and I have had numerous conversations about frontal lobe development. Your daughter is mature for her age and worked very hard. Not all kids work that hard in their teenage years. When I have attended parent orientation and parent weekends, we sometimes skip some of the activities and just spend time with our kids. I just wish you would go! You don't have to go to all the activities that are planned. You don't have to talk to other parent or administrators. Donna
Yes Mommy.
John,
Thanks for the laugh! Your wife deserves accolades for putting up with you! No offense, but you are a very lucky guy!! Donna
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