Blacks far better at compliments

One consistent pattern I've noticed is that black people give far more effusive -- and effective -- compliments.

A young white guy once told me that he had been in a bar in New Orleans with some friends when a 6'6" 300 pound black man had come up to him, clapped his hand on the young man's shoulder, and said, "Man, you sexy as fuck! We gonna get us some pussy tonight!" It turned out that the huge guy was a football player in town for a game; he happened to be coked up. The young guy was initially a little shocked, and wasn't even sure at first that the football player wasn't somehow hitting on him (he wasn't). But he remembered the compliment, and felt good about it later.

This same young guy once wandered, semi-drunk, into a nightclub in New York City by himself. He chatted briefly with the bouncer, a huge black man, then made his way in. When he emerged an hour or two later with a girl, the bouncer said to him, "I knew you wouldn't be leaving alone." The young guy later said it was one of the highest compliments he'd ever been paid.

The same young man, a connoisseur of strip clubs, once told me that white strippers will all give the same few rote compliments in hopes of a better tip. They'll either say, you're cute, or, you're not like the rest of the guys who come in here, or something to that effect. But he had been to a club recently where he'd chatted with a black stripper, and she had told him, "You have the eyes of a killer." The young man, who prides himself on his toughness, was extremely flattered by this.

These are all compliments that simply mean more to a guy.

Whites will give you some lame compliment like, gee, that's a nice shirt. Or, you did really well on that test -- congratulations! (In one ear, out the other.) But black people will give you a compliment you'll remember.

Seriously, what would you rather be told: that you worked hard on a project, and your team spirit is really appreciated -- or that you're sexy as fuck?

Black guys simply don't seem to worry about being mistaken for gay, the way most white guys do. So they'll compliment another guy on his looks, or his build, or his voice. There's something very appealing about both the self-confidence and the straightforwardness that entails.

My own experience has been similar. Blacks have simply been more uninhibited when giving me compliments. A white guy might say, "Hmm, you're a good butterflier," or, worse, "Did you swim competitively?" I can recall three different black guys who've told me something to the effect of, "I love watching you swim butterfly. It's so beautiful!"

(If you're getting a compliment, uninhibitedly is definitely the way you want it delivered.)

One other point. Half the time when a white gives you a compliment, there's an agenda behind it: they want something from you. But with all of the compliments listed above (with the probable exception of the stripper's), there was no agenda. There was simply a certain generosity of spirit.

I'm the first to point out racial differences in IQ, and racial double standards. So let me be the first to point this difference out as well.