I mentioned on May 23rd that the rate of women who've been abused in lesbian households is 35.4%, compared to only 20.4% of those living with a male partner.
Women, in general, know that if they hit a man, it probably won't cause much damage, so develop fewer inhibitions about lashing out that way.
If a woman hits a man, it's simply not taken that seriously. A woman who, say, punches a man in the arm is probably not going to be strong enough to cause any real damage, even if she hits him as hard as she can. In fact, she's likely to be laughed at.
So if she does hit the man she lives with, chances are that act won't feed into the statistics on domestic violence. (If men did report such incidents, the statistics would look much different.)
On the other hand, if a man hits a woman, that is taken much more seriously. So normal men develop inhibitions against that sort of thing.
When two lesbians set up house, they will each have a lifetime of not being seen as physical threats, and therefore don't see themselves that way. Yet, eventually, they will get on each other's nerves just like any housemates do. And, when they do, they are less likely to have inhibitions about hitting each other. And sometimes hitting can escalate.
Thus, the higher rate of domestic violence among lesbians.
That's the only theory I can come up with, anyway.
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14 comments:
It sounds plausible. Men don't report being hit be women. That must account for a lot.
Also a woman may refrain from hitting a man because of the deterrence of the physical threat from him or because she knows she can't bully or hurt him.
Is it the more butch partner who does most of the hitting...the one who has a weaker target? You've got to be mean and brave to hit someone bigger, you've just got to be mean to hit someone smaller.
Or maybe they are mimicking what they see as masculine behaviour, including the darker aspects.
Here's an idea: are butch lesbians hormonally closer to men and therefore more aggressive?
is there a higher incidence of mental illness and issues among lesbians due to not fitting in, friction with family and bullying growing up?
There's a few ideas...
Steven --
Everything you mention makes sense. I was thinking the same, that the lesbians are a little more inclined to violence given their higher levels of testosterone. But their levels still aren't close to those of men, so that wouldn't really explain much of it.
Good question about the butch partner; instinctively, one would think yes, it's the more masculine partner who does the abusing, but I certainly haven't seen any statistics on that.
I've never noticed a higher level of mental illness among lesbians. There could well be some residual anger about their outcast position though.
I 've known some lesbians in my lifetime. With all the couples that I've known (or have been aware of), there appeared to be one female who was the "male" in the relationship. I once had a female lesbian (a police officer) show an interest in me. I shut that down as I'm not interested in women. She would have been a "male.". That was many years ago.
-birdie
Birdie --
That's my impression as well, that there's usually one partner who plays the male role.
I've never quite gotten this: if a woman is attracted to women who are mannish, why not an actual man? It's easier to understand women who are attracted to feminine women, as they are nothing at all like men.
The women that I've known who were the "male" in the relationship were athletic looking, starting out as P.E. teschers, working as educators.
-birdie
Birdie --
Yes, the more masculine women tend not to be florists or manicurists or fashion consultants. Some of the smarter ones end up as doctors, lawyers, etc. I was just treated by a lesbian (I"m pretty sure) doctor last fall.
It doesn't surprise me that Billie Jean King came out as a lesbian. She actually looks like one.
-birdie
Birdie --
They often have a distinctive look, which I described here (and I used Billie Jean King as an example):
http://justnotsaid.blogspot.com/2012/05/gaydar-for-women.html
I'll read that post. The P.E. teachers that I knew had a similar build as Ms. King's and were brunettes, having a masculine "look" to them, all with short haircuts.
-birdie
"Yet, eventually, they will get on each other's nerves just like any housemates do. And, when they do…"
So when women get agitated, they turn to violence?
Anon --
Obviously, not all of them do. But according to the statistics, lesbians are more likely to.
Do you think I made those statistics up?
Nice people don't resort to violence. When you have a narcissist in a relationship, then violence can occur. Just my theory on the subject.
- Susan
One issue that never seems to be discussed in the context of "domestic violence" is battered (and murdered) children. If you do a search on "child abuse" the results are overwhelmingly sexual abuse of one sort or another, mostly perpetrated by men. However, a huge number of children are beaten so often and severely as to cause serious injuries and even death. And in a majority (i.e., significantly more than half) of cases, the perpetrator is . . . a woman. Considering the prevalence of single parent (which in practice mostly means single mother) households, this makes sense. I would love to see some domestic violence statistics comparing the number of women beaten by men to the number of children beaten by women.
Anon --
That's a really great point. I had no idea that that was so, but now that you mention it, it makes sense. Yes, the vast majority of child molesters are men, but whenever you hear about some parent who's starved one kid (but not the others), it often does seem to be a woman. Whenever I read about these cases I always wonder if the mother ended up hating the father of that particular child for some reason and this is her way of getting "revenge" on him. Either way, it's sick. And you're right, these statistics should be publicized more.
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