The NY Times had a front page article about gun control yesterday, their first official front page editorial since 1920. (Everything that appears on the front page of the Times is spun in some way, but this is the first article that's actually been labelled as an editorial.)
No one's name was attached, but it's unfortunate in a way that the editorial didn't come with publisher and CEO Arthur "Pinch" Sulzberger's byline. He's actually one of the rare New Yorkers who has been able to obtain a carry permit from the NYPD.
Pinch just doesn't think the rest of us should be allowed to get one.
Hard not to wonder what kind of gun Pistol-Packin' Pinch carries. A snub nose .38, whose compact size makes it ideal for concealed carry?
A Glock 21 semiautomatic? The cops use it, so it must be good, right?
A Sig Sauer P220? This one is a favorite among gun aficionados. It was featured in Rambo: First Blood Part II. Wait a sec, the Times didn't like the Rambo movies, so, nah.
Perhaps he favors the Walther PPK, the one James Bond carries. Don't worry Pinch, we've all seen the movies. We'd understand.
Or maybe Pinch prefers the Heckler & Koch VP9. Okay, so maybe the Times has mentioned the Holocaust a time or two. But let's face it, those Germans make reliable guns.
Maybe he likes the Kahr CM9, available for just $460. Although, given the fact that Pinch pays himself $6 million a year (at a time when The Times is laying off reporters), he can probably afford a more expensive gun.
Many gun owners tend to think of their guns as "cool." Does Pinch show off his gun(s) to his friends? To his wife? How many guns does he have?
Does Pinch compare notes with Carlos Slim? Surely the world's richest propaganda-buyer does not travel unarmed. Or, as is much more likely, with a retinue of armed bodyguards.
How often does Pinch go to the range? How many rounds has he shot, total? Does he ever worry about the anti-environmental effect of all that gunpowder going off? (Every shot he's fired does contribute a little to global warming.)
Does Pinch load his gun with standard ammo, or does he prefer the more deadly hollow points, which expand once inside a man's body?
We know what Pistol-Packin' Pinch's favorite publication is. But does he also make time for Guns 'n Ammo?
Whatever the answers to these questions, don't expect the Times to report them.
(Is it just my imagination or does Pinch have the soft-faced, wimpy, pencil-necked look of a mass killer?)