By now you've undoubtedly heard of the mix-up at the Miss Universe contest, when emcee Steve Harvey mistakenly announced that Miss Colombia was the winner over Miss Philippines.
It was actually sorta funny -- if you have a twisted sense of humor.
The funniest thing may have been Steve Harvey's subsequent Tweet:
(To the best of my knowledge, that Ivy League school does not hold a beauty contest. "Philippians" sounds like a book in the Bible. And while Harvey made both an honest mistake and a terrible one, was it really "terribly honest" as well?)
This sends a clear message to all young students: hit those geography books, study your syntax, and you, too, might become successful enough to announce the Miss Universe contest.
You can't really be angry at Harvey, though. It was an honest mistake, he owned up to it, and he obviously felt bad about it afterwards.
What I was really struck by when I first saw a clip of the incident was how unnatural Miss Colombia looked:
She seems to have had a lot of work done. Those big lips simply don't go with that narrow nose, which makes it appear as if at least one, and probably both, were surgically altered. Her cheeks look unnaturally full, as if she's had implants. Her eyebrows are obviously painted on. And she's wearing heavy makeup.
The overall effect is, one of the less wholesome showgirls in a Vegas topless revue.
Speaking of which, her skinny arms contrast sharply with her ample breasts, which indicate that those may have been enhanced as well:
It would have been more in keeping with the rest of her look to get double-D's rather than small C's, though.
Brazil, Venezuela, and Colombia have reportedly all gone plastic surgery-crazy in recent years. And a high percentage of Brazilian athletes seem to be on steroids these days. When those things are just part of the culture, it's a little harder to blame people who simply go along.
But should a contest which essentially celebrates young beauty really be encouraging that much artifice?
(The pageant now sparks the same feeling you get when you see a picture of the Mr. Universe contestants: wow, that's a lot of store-bought enhancement.)
The third place finisher, Olivia Thomas, Miss USA, has a much more natural look:
There's real hair in those eyebrows, and her face is in balance. (Which is to damn her with faint praise: she's stunningly beautiful.)
Anyway, back to the mix-up. Donald Trump, who sold the contest six months ago, at first said that this would never have happened when he owned the contest. That's a little ridiculous, as human error is always a possibility whenever humans are involved.
But then he proposed that the Miss Universe title be awarded jointly this year, which actually isn't a bad suggestion. Miss Colombia may not deserve the title based on her natural beauty, but she does deserve something as recompense for her humiliation.
Ah, the wisdom of Solomon.
Just what we'd want in a President.
And if there is zero chance that any errors would ever happen on his watch, all the better.