Alesha Carter (burglary):
Hi, my name is Alesha & I'm 28 years young. I'm a delightful, former exotic dancer whose affectionate as a kitten :) I've lived on the wild side, however, I'm disease & drug free. I have a great sense of humor & love to cook.....The man that I'm seeking should be between 40-87 years old.
When a former exotic dancer tells you she's "lived on the wild side, however, I'm disease & drug free," that translates pretty directly as, "I used to be a hooker."
But the most striking thing about Alesha's ad is the age range she is willing to consider. Although she is 28, she doesn't seem to be interested in guys 25 - 39. She is only interested in guys age 40 to 87. (Why draw the line there? What's wrong with 88-year-olds?) You have to wonder about the motivation of a 28-year-old who is wiling to consider a paramour of 87. Might she perhaps have a little larceny -- or even burglary -- in her heart?
At least Alesha is not lying about one thing. While dogs are loyal and affectionate, cats are notorious for being the opposite.
Amy Kristine Chambers-Fields (Manufacturing/Delivering & Possession of Meth)
Sexy Southern lady looking for someone who will love me for who I am... flaws & all...reading, swimming, and rollerblading are a few of my hobbies.....I am told that I have gorgeous blue eyes & a pretty smile. I also have a good sense of humor & love to make others laugh....Looking for someone who is open-minded, intelligent, funny, and most importantly DRUG FREE!
Isn't that last request a bit hypocritical?
Melissa Chapman (First degree murder)
Looking to make new friends & create lifelong connections with like-minded people who love life, learning new things & the value of playing it forward.
Life is too short to hold onto past hurts when we can create new beginnings. Open & honest with many interests, ideas, hopes & dreams. Let's explore them together! Until then, God bless & have a great day! :-)
I was all set to write some snippy comments about how life is too short, especially when you've been murdered, but then I Googled Melissa and found this. It actually does sound as if she was unfairly convicted. So this one was interesting, but in an unexpected way.
Deborah Decker (2nd degree murder)
Fiery redhead. Full of ideas. Full of life. Dominating. I love to have fun!!
....I like slow dancing-mostly in private :-) will try most anything once. Obedience is a requirement in relations. Seeking submissive gentlemen unafraid to step outside "the box"... is it you? :-)
Look Deborah up, and you'll find that she was found guilty of killing both her husband and stepfather by setting fire to their mobile home. (I guess they weren't obedient enough.)
Thank you, Deborah, for confirming all my suspicions about both dominatrixes and redheads.
42 yr. old Hazel eyes she devil seeking a dark angel to rescue her. And to captivate her mind and more. I'm naughty by nature, humorous, loving, loyal, but not afraid of life's challenges. Open-minded and adventurous, desire to soar through life's journey with someone. Don't be afraid to write. I won't bite unless you want me to.
Google Brenda and you will find this description of her from an AP article from 2004:
"Warren County Sheriff Martin Pace described Brenda Dixon, 34, as dangerous. She is accused of killing [her boyfriend] Kevin Paffrath, who was found dead March 25 in his Lake Panasoffkee, Fla., mobile home...'She has a lengthy criminal history. She's been charged with escape by use of force with police officers, and she is currently charged with a brutal murder'."
"Naughty" doesn't quite seem a strong enough word to describe Brenda. How many women have you heard of who've actually pulled a gun on police officers? (She certainly wasn't afraid of that "life's challenge.") And "lengthy criminal history" always gives off the odor of sociopathy. Brenda's not kidding about being a she-devil.
It tends to be the stronger-looking, more masculine women who are criminals in their own right, and the more feminine ones who get into trouble after getting caught up in their boyfriends' shenanigans. No question which category Brenda falls into.
Tiffany Duncan (attempted aggravated robbery)
White, 23 yr. old woman is seeking Friendship/companion with possible long-term relationship. Am a mother of 2 very small boys, intelligent, honest, understanding, open-minded, fun to be around, have a great personality, sense of humor, and am out going....Made a bad choice, that's regretted. Am not perfect but try to do what's right in most cases. Don't like to be judged. Love the outdoors, poetry, sports, and to just have fun and enjoy life to its fullest....Am a very kind and caring individual who was born in California....Love attention and touchy-feely type of woman. I am approximately 153 pds., 5'3"...Like to work out sometimes also....Well if you're interested please feel free to write this amazing woman...
Note the "Don't like to be judged." That translates directly as, "I have a narcissistic personality, therefore I explode into a rage at the slightest criticism." Her narcissism is also evinced by the way she describes herself: even in an advertisement, use of the word "amazing" seems extreme.
I'm struck by the number of inmates who claim to love the outdoors, and wonder if this particular passion is something that has developed since they were incarcerated. I sometimes think that if I were caged up, I would probably feel a yearning to hike, camp, and so on.
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10 comments:
John, I must take exception with your unjustified defamation of the good character of cats.
"....cats are notorious for being the opposite"
G
G --
I take it you've had cats as pets. T.S. Eliot is the one who described them most wittily, but the most pithy summation of their personalities was by whoever it was who first pointed out, "If you pet cat was bigger than you, it would kill you and eat you."
Although, I suppose, the same could be said of many dogs.
The 1st Degree murderer's case for clemency leans heavily on the polygraph she passed -- 20 years after the murder. That's more than enough time to get your story straight -- and most importantly, convince yourself of your own innocence.
Also, cats are only affectionate when they want something from you, whether it's food, or rubbing your leg to give the fleas someplace new to land. People might think cats are leaving you a gift, when they bring a dead bird or lizard to your doorstep, but it's really a warning that you could be next.
Anon --
It sounded to me as if Melissa Chapman was intimidated and manipulated by the man she was with; she was evidently beaten herself. Maybe she deserved a small sentence for her proximity and acquiescence during the murder, but not the long one she got. And, at 18, she was barely this side of legal age. It's certainly possible that the petition I linked is somehow misleading, but I was convinced by it. (And I'm not the type to take most convicts at their word, as the rest of these recent posts will attest.)
Amen on the cats.
OK, so this is a forum for cat haters. I'm beginning to think that you must have had abusive relationships with cats in your formative years and developed felixophobic personality disorders.
G
G --
I confess, I do suffer from felixophobia, brought on not by any early formative experience, but by the fact that their proximity always makes me sneeze. "Danderophoboa" might be a better name for what I have.
Revealing my woeful lack of a classical education I of course mixed latin and greek roots in my made up word for fear of cats. I just looked up the real word for fear of cats - ailurophopia - which of course is consistently based on greek roots. Apparently felinophobia, elurophobia, and gatophobia are also possible. I can't recall ever having heard or seen any of them used, which just goes to show how deviant such feelings must be ;)
G
G --
That's fine, anyone would know what you meant. I was assuming you ere jokingly referring to Felix the Cat, the old comic strip character created by the famous R. Crumb.
Felix, a happy G-rated fellow with a magic bag, was created in the silent film era by Sullivan and Messner. Are you remembering Fritz, his X-rated nephew, whose naughty exploits were brought to us by Crumb in 1965?? Perhaps Fritz is responsible for your unfavorable view of felines?
G
G --
AAAAAAh, yes, of course, you're right. I got the names mixed up.
And no, if Fritz were my only impression of felines, it would be a very positive impression.
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