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Thursday, January 9, 2014

Confessions of a beta male Part XIX: Fatherhood

I haven't written any new posts in this series since July of 2012, but I recently realized that my beta male mindset affects my relationships with my children as well as my peers.

Monday was a fairly typical day for my daughter and me. I woke up early, and made a copy of the NY Times crossword puzzle for my daughter.

I then washed her dishes from the night before, and did a load of her laundry.

After she woke up I paid her spring semester college tuition.

I then offered her a ride to the Y, which she declined; but she knows she can alway borrow my car anytime it's not in use.

Later on I helped her with some clues with the crossword puzzle and complimented her on how well she'd done with the other answers.

That evening, when we had our usual game of family Jeopardy, I complimented her when she got some answers which I hadn't known.

After the game was over, because she found it annoying that I had complimented her, she hit me in the arm. (Hard.)

I guess I won't be swimming well at my masters meet this coming weekend.

But my primary concern is: how can I be less annoying to her?


Anonymous said...

Try ignoring her. That will make you enormously less irritating. Seriously.

lowly said...

Jess Wundring: I left him some advice.
lowlywhisper: bully
lowlywhisper: what was it?
lowlywhisper: it won't show up until he approves
Jess Wundring: I know it won't.
Jess Wundring: Try ignoring her. That will make you enormously less irritating. Seriously.
lowlywhisper: Really?
lowlywhisper: my advice would be to
Jess Wundring: your advice would be to what?
lowlywhisper: to keep doing what he's doing
lowlywhisper: she'll remember him fondly after a decade or so
lowlywhisper: he's just telling her that he loves her without actually telling her
Jess Wundring: yeah, I see that. But people have different ways of expressing their love. But
Jess Wundring: now that I think about it, you're right. I adored my grandfather and he was a lot like that. I found him irritating but loved him to death
Jess Wundring: and it didn't take a decade for me to realize it
Jess Wundring: even as I found him irritating, I knew that it was part of his love for me

John Craig said...

Anon/Jess --
You are, of course, absolutely right, both in your original comment and the one you asked me not to post. I do occasionally take that advice (though it's harder than it sounds).

Lowly --
I hope (and suspect) you will be right.

I have to admit, the interaction I described -- while all true -- was a somewhat extreme example which I posted partly for humorous effect, as I did with all the other posts in this series from a couple years ago. I've made my daughter sound spoiled, but in fact she's turning out really well. (And my revenge for that punch is this embarrassing post.)

Thank you both.

Dave Moriarty said...

The high school kid generally thinks the parents are total idiots. ( I have three kids that served as references for that observation) Surprisingly, though, the parents seem to learn quite a bit while the cherubs are away at college.
The jeopardy sharing is a good non confrontational activity which I, too, recommend to others.However,I was severely lacking in my knowledge of Lady Gaga though when she was her own category.

John Craig said...

Dave --
While I agree that Jeopardy is a great family activity, I have to admit, we manage to turn it confrontational in my family. (We play it along with the TV, and there are arguments about who shouted out the answer first, or whether an answer was close enough to the correct one.)

I'm sorta hoping my kids take that same course on how smart your dad is.