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Friday, January 3, 2014

All kinds of roads lead to Rome

This blog doesn't allow me to see who has looked at it (which I'd love to be able to do). But it does allow me to see how many page views it has gotten on any given day, which posts people have gone to, and what they typed into their Google search bars to get there.

Some of the searches that lead here are a little surprising. Many are actually Google Image searches, which explains a lot. I've kept a list for the past week, just to be able to post about them:

"Topless FEMEN protesters." A lot -- an awful lot -- of people search for images of the FEMEN protesters. I'd like to think they come here or here or here because they want to re-read my wry and witty takes on the hypocrisy of the protesters. But realism compels me to admit that they are just looking for pictures of half naked beautiful women to masturbate to. (When I mentioned this to my son, he said, "That must be just 14-year-old boys. Older guys tend to jerk off to much more depraved stuff than just a picture of some woman's boobs.")

"Men sucking women's boobies." Honestly, I can't think of a post where I broached that subject.

"Hottest girls currently in prison." I did write about that at one point, although my focus was on their personalities and not their supposed hotness.

There were searches for "Jada Pinkett feet" and "Thandie Newton feet" on the same day. I'm guessing both of these inquiries were from the same guy. Then, several days later, "Willow Smith feet." I did have a picture of Jada Pinkett's foot in this post, though the emphasis of that post was on her sham of a marriage and not on her feet. With Newton, I focused on the beauty of her face. In any case, I can only hope my blog brought this searcher to the point of fruition.

"Nude male veterinarians" somehow leads them to this blog. For life of me, I can't recall writing about that -- or including any pictures of such.

"Good-looking swimmers" leads them here. "Daniel Craig nude" will also lead them to this blog; the closest I came to that was including a picture of him in his bathing suit in a post about the various actors who'd played James Bond. Just this morning I got "gay top" and "guy with muscular body type." (I hadn't started out intending to make this blog a gay mecca; but since it has become such, I embrace the identity.)

"Gay Club Med" is another frequent search that leads here. I hope my somewhat pointed description of the various types of gay men won't discourage any of them from embarking on one of those vacations; those fellows really did look as if they were having a good time.

On a fairly regular basis, people Google "just not said," which I am happy about, since it means they actually want to read my blog, and not just jerk off to it.

Or, maybe they just want to see how much of a jerkoff I've been recently.

"Stereotypes woman athletes face" is another frequent search. How disappointed -- or enraged -- the women must be when they find that I pretty much agree with the stereotypes.

"Racist whites." I actually get fairly frequent searches from people who are probably surprised to find that, at least according to me, "racism" cuts both ways.

"My conscience is bothering me." After reading this post, they may realize that in fact their consciences really aren't bothering them that much.

I get a lot of inquiries about "socialpaths" -- evidently from people who aren't that familiar with the concept. I can only hope they find this blog educational.

"Can sociopaths kill?" Yet another inquiry which indicates a certain unfamiliarity with the breed.

"Bill Clinton sociopath" is another common search, this one from people who are familiar with both the syndrome and Mr. Clinton himself.

A lot of people also ask if Steve Jobs was a sociopath.

"Why laugh at own jokes?" Various forms of this question are obviously from people annoyed by narcissists.

"What is best fighting dog breed in world?" That question has no definitive answer, though I take a stab at it here.

"Is Obama gay?" That question. which comes from those with more finely attuned gaydar than me,  leads to a more definite answer.

It's been interesting finding out exactly what people are curious about. Or, at least, what they want to jerk off over.


Glen Filthie said...

I was looking for internet goat porn when I surfed in here.

Oh, wait a minute, that took me to Uncle Bob's blog and I came here on my own from there.

You have both been a big disappointment in this regard.


John Craig said...

Glen --
Ha! Sorry to disappoint you; I can steer you in the right direction though, if you're interested.

Anonymous said...


I enjoy reading your blog because it always touches on subjects that I would never think about, most days it brings a smile to my face and a laugh...

Mad Dog

John Craig said...

Thank you Mad Dog.

Anonymous said...

Hi John! Happy New Year. A techie told me recently, and I assumed you would know this if it's true, that there's a program that the blogger could use that tells him or her who has viewed their blog. Just thought I'd mention it for what it might be worth. Take care, Brian

John Craig said...

Happy New Year Brian --
Hadn't heard of that program, but thanks.

Dave Moriarty said...

what series of events could transpire to trigger someone to search for "nude male veterinarians". are they as a group perceived to be better looking than say pharmacists? or grave diggers or sandhogs? the degree of specificity stuns me.

I suppose you could be flattered they end up here with your "regulars". Although i am trying to think of how to spice up my searching and see where i end up

how about we search for "well dressed yodelers"?

John Craig said...

Dave --
That's a really good question. The only thing I can think of is that whoever did the search for nude male veterinarians must have had a soft spot in his heart for animals -- as well as a hard spot in his pants for veterinarians. And maybe I shouldn't assume it's a guy; maybe it's a woman, though I get the sense that most of the more specific searches are from guys.

You just inspired me: I just Google-imaged "Well-dressed yodelers" and got, as I suspected, a bunch of guys in lederhosen. Can't say it turned me on thought.