Life is a catwalk

The NY Post ran an article this morning, Meet the better half of the world's hottest couple, about Irina Shayk, the Russian model and girlfriend of Portuguese soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo. In the article, Shayk comes across very much like a model.

She's full of breathless quotations like, “I think it’s all about your body and how you feel inside. You can wake up and look at the mirror and say, ‘Oh my god, I feel so beautiful and hot, let me just wear sweatpants and walk on the street,’ and people are going to turn around and say, ‘She’s hot!’ because you’re feeling it inside.”

Shayk understands guys perfectly. They're not swayed by outward appearance -- they're only influenced by how a woman feels inside.

Shayk also said, about her early modeling days, "It was really hard, but I’m Russian and I’m a Capricorn. I say to myself, I would never go back to Russia with nothing.”

I had been wondering where she got all that determination. Now I know --- she's a Capricorn!

She's also full of fascinating information, such as, “I love chicken nuggets from McDonald’s. Every time I’m at the airport, I always get chicken nuggets with extra BBQ sauce. People think I’m getting paid to post chicken nuggets on Instagram. That’s so wrong. I just love chicken nuggets.”

Ever notice how beautiful girls will excitedly relate the most mundane details of their lives as if they're telling you something really fascinating? It's not really their fault; they've simply been conditioned by a lifetime of uttering such inanities and having people, especially men, react with seeming fascination. 

Shayk could probably say, "I farted yesterday," and most guys would accord that statement the same respect and attention they would a reliable insider trading tip.

Here's a picture of Shayk -- sans makeup -- with her boyfriend: 

Is it just me, or do the two of them resemble each other? How exactly did that attraction work? Did she see Ronaldo and think to herself, wow, he looks just like me -- he's hot! Did he think the same thing? 

Is there some narcissism involved here? 

Note Ronaldo's look of pleasure as he holds up the small fish he's caught. He, too, has been conditioned by years of stardom to expect people to react to his every minor accomplishment as if he had just kicked the winning goal in the finals of the World Cup. 

The real message behind those smiles seems to be, aren't we a cute couple? 

Previously, I might have been jealous. But now, thanks to the wisdom imparted by Shayk, I don't have to be. Instead, I'm going to just throw on a pair of sweatpants and walk down the street, and people are going to turn around and say, "He's hot!" -- because I'm feeling it inside. 

After all, I'm a Taurus!