Someone once said, if we weren't told there was such a thing as romantic love, would we feel it? It's a good question. Some of it may be the power of suggestion, but I do remember experiencing it -- or at least a version of it -- as a first grader. And at that point I couldn't possibly have been inculcated yet. Back then, I felt that way about a girl named Adrienne Zuppe.
Romantic love is, as has been noted by many, a form of temporary insanity. And, when I was younger, and would finally come to my senses a few months later, I always felt foolish.
But not that foolish. I recently saw my first grade class picture, and was struck by how Adrienne Zuppe really was as pretty as I had remembered.
(Hey, at least I never fell in love with a pair of tits, or an ass.)
I remember feeling a little hot in Zuppe's presence. It wasn't a sexual feeling; I just sort of felt hot all over, especially in the face. Actually having a crush -- even when you're past puberty -- is not primarily a sexual feeling, even if it is a sort of erotic obsession. In fact, if it's intense enough, it actually robs you of sexual feeling.
The worst part about a crush is being rejected. (And if you feel that way, you're far more likely to be rejected, as you'll lose whatever cool you might otherwise have.) I've sometimes wondered if "romantic love" isn't just depression looking for an expression.
The alphas I've known -- most of whom had narcissistic personalities -- never seemed susceptible to this sort of fixation. To them, the idea of romantic love is incomprehensible. If they got turned down, so what? It might be sexually frustrating, but that was the extent of it.
There's something almost a little feminine about "falling in love," even heterosexually.
Example: an alpha male has a high school class with an extremely pretty girl and lusts after her. His feelings can pretty much be summed up by, I really, really want to see that body naked.
Then, if the alpha gets rejected, he thinks, what a stuck up bitch, and forgets about her.
A beta looks at her and pines away, thinking, she's so wonderful, it would just be heaven to live the rest of my life with her. And every word from her lips sounds like music.
Then, if the beta gets rejected, he gets depressed.
Or, even worse, the beta just worships her from afar, too shy and afraid of rejection to make a move in the first place.
Being horny, and just wanting a handy female body to use, is alpha. Being romantic, and pining away for a specific person, is beta.
It's a little embarrassing to admit, but I spent my youth as a complete beta.