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Friday, January 29, 2010

Why I prefer to get my news (like this piece) from The Onion:


Bunch of Phonies Mourn J.D. Salinger

CORNISH, NH—In this big dramatic production that didn't do anyone any good (and was pretty embarrassing, really, if you think about it), thousands upon thousands of phonies across the country mourned the death of author J.D. Salinger, who was 91 years old for crying out loud. "He had a real impact on the literary world and on millions of readers," said hot-shot English professor David Clarke, who is just like the rest of them, and even works at one of those crumby schools that rich people send their kids to so they don't have to look at them for four years. "There will never be another voice like his." Which is exactly the lousy kind of goddamn thing that people say, because really it could mean lots of things, or nothing at all even, and it's just a perfect example of why you should never tell anybody anything.

I had wanted to say something about J.D. Salinger, whose classic book I've read several times. But after seeing this obituary from The Onion, I realized that whatever I might have said, wouldn't have been said nearly as well.

2 comments:

Paul said...

No one says it better than The Onion. Having said that, and I know you and The Onion aren't necessarily saying anything different, The Catcher in the Rye is a great book, or was when I read it in fifth grade and every time I've read it since.

John Craig said...

It certainly was great, otherwise I wouldn't have read it several times.