Search Box

Saturday, May 4, 2013

"The 20 funniest Goldman Sachs elevator gossips"

Guy Davis sent along this collection of quotes supposedly overheard in the Goldman Sachs elevator.

I highly doubt that these quotes were actually overheard in the elevator there; they sound much more like some writer's conception of how people who have successfully devoted their lives to making money must talk. I worked there for twelve years, and the people I knew there were just not this witty. Plus, anybody overheard boasting this way would probably have been fired.

Still, it's an amusing collection.


lowly said...

My favorites:

Skirt #1: It really hurts my feelings when an ugly guy hits on me.

#1: Vegetarians and homos all seem to think the rest of us give a shit about what goes in their mouths.

#1: I don't let my kids watch Lady Gaga. She has such a negative message... If you're ugly, you have to dress like a freak.

#1: IQ tests don't mean shit. #2: That's just something stupid people say.

#1: I help with the recruiting effort, or as I call it, the Office Beautification Project.

#1: On our anniversary, I send my wife flowers with a Congratulations card.

#1: Under Bush, 5% unemployment was a disaster. Under Obama 8.5% is a boom. #2: Affirmative action

#1: What he lacks in social skills, he makes up in wallet.

John Craig said...

Lowly --
Ha! I like those too. All of these GS quotes seem to be a meld of realism and arrogance, mixed in such a way as to make us think, what a bunch of holes, but at the same time grudgingly acknowledge the truth of what they say.

These, btw, just lend further credence to my hypothesis that they weren't really overheard at GS, but are merely the creation of a writer somewhere.