Search Box

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Being Nostradamus

Every now and then it occurs to me that since I'm essentially yelling out into the wilderness with this blog anyway, I might as well try to be another Nostradamus. The trick to that seems to make safe, predictable predictions that can be applied to a wide range of happenings. (This is similar to what psychics and astrologers do.)

For instance, I might say, "A great mushroom cloud will herald the end of many lives in a heavily populated area."

As we all know, sooner or later, as long as nuclear bombs exist, that will happen. It maybe be a month, a year, a decade, or a century in the future. But it will happen. And if it does, it's a safe bet that the perpetrators won't be looking to attack Antarctica.

So, I predict it.

In that vein, here are the rest of my prognostications:

Terrorists will wreak havoc and cause widespread panic in New York City.

The earth will shake, and the resulting disaster will end tens of thousands of lives.

A great wave will emerge from the ocean which will drown thousands.

People will be attracted to a charismatic politician who is not nearly as nice as he seems.

Celebrities with double digit IQ's will give their political opinions, and the masses will take them seriously.

The Middle East will be a hotbed of dissension and violence.

Creatures unknown to science will be discovered here on earth.

There will be a tragic war in which hundreds of thousands of people will die.

The path of the world economy will not be a smooth one.

There will be a population crisis in Africa which will make previous crises look minor by comparison.

Asians will mysteriously outscore whites on standardized tests, whites will mysteriously outscore Hispanics, and Hispanics will outscore blacks. No one will be able to explain these inexplicable differences. (Not publicly, at least.)

Professional basketball will be dominated by people of sub-Saharan descent.

Racial tensions will escalate; a large number of killings will take place around the world which will seem to be racially motivated.

The United States will become more like Brazil: darker-complected, with a shrinking middle class.

Great advances will be made in technology and medicine.

And, people who predict the future will continue to do so in vague terms, and will mostly describe basically nothing more than a continuation of current trends.


Anonymous said...

I predict a series of celebrity romances will become widespread news, but shockingly most will not last.

John Craig said...

Anon --

europeasant said...

John, you have way too many negative predictions.I find that most people only want to hear good news. When ever I start conversations and bring up dysgenic and negative topics many people especially females become uneasy and want to change the subject matter.I do share your pessimism about world events.

So for my contribution of predictions for this glorious weather Memorial day weekend;

Summer time weather will be fabulous.

We will have many grandchildren and they will all be financially successful.

In our old age we will be healthy and wise.

Even my elderly parents were somewhat optimistic. Why I remember when their boat docked in New York harbour back in '57. As they walked down the gangplank carrying their suitcases my mother noticed a twenty dollar bill lying on the ground and she said to my father, "Walter, Aren't you going to to pick that up?". "No, my father responded, lets get a good night's sleep and then tomorrow we'll start collecting the money".

John Craig said...

Europeasant --
Ha! Most of the versions of that story I've heard end with one of the two people saying, "Don't bother, that can't be real, because the economists say that otherwise it would have been picked up already." I think I prefer yours though.

Coincidentally -- or maybe not so coincidentally -- my son was just telling me yesterday that I always have to bring up the negative aspects of any situation and it's one of the more annoying aspects of my personality. I had to think about that one for a minute; I guess it's true. One the other hand, I often feel obliged to counteract the overly rosy forecasts I hear from others.

Mark Caplan said...

People want only good news? I've yet to see a newspaper lead with "Yesterday, ten thousands planes took off and landed safely." Or, "Earthquake in Chili, no deaths or injuries."

There are scores of prophesies in the Old Testament. All have been fulfilled! A miracle? Proof that God exists? Not quite. I gather the "prophesies" were written up after they had already been fulfilled. Many stock market gurus have benefited from that trick. Their newsletters shout how they predicted this or that market crash or how they put out a "strong buy" on Amazon when Bezos was still boxing books and carrying them himself to the post office.

Jesus should have stuck to bringing people back from the dead and walking on water. Those feats were child's play compared to making a valid forecast, especially about the future. "Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom" (Matthew 16: 27, 28). The prediction of the Second Coming turned into the biggest forecasting flub of all time, although The New York Times's forecast of Hillary's inevitable victory in the 2016 election comes a close second.

John Craig said...

Mark --
In Europeasant's defense, I don't think he was being serious (and probably neither are you), and the daily news isn't quite the same thing as predicting the future.

Ha, yes, well don't give up on the Second Coming yet. (He could be among us and we may just not realize it yet.) I mean, after all, Hillary's supporters are still trying to rescind the results of the 2016 election.

Anonymous said...

WHENEVER the spirits speak from beyond the grave (or gods or angels or djinn or UFO aliens, whichever higher power is giving you the message) we must always remember to ask them the one important question: "TELL ME WHERE THE MONEY IS BURIED."

We don't want to hear that Grandpa forgives us now that he is dead, or that the earth needs harmony. There is money buried RIGHT NOW somewhere. Where is it, though?


John Craig said...

That's actually vey similar to a question i want to ask all the prognosticators who say the world incoming to and end: "Since the world is ending anyway, would you mind giving me all your money, since you'll have no use for it?"

I forget who it was, there was a guy predicting the end of the world about, what, six or ten years ago? I always wondered why no one asked him that question.