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Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Ken Boyer, classic sociopath

The Daily Mail ran this article today about a con man who romanced multiple women while telling them that he was dying of stage 4 liver cancer:

A dying cancer patient who married the 'one that got away' this month despite having just weeks left to live is a conman, his ex girlfriends claim.

Ken Boyer didn't think he'd make it to his birthday next month after being diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer, according to his daughter.

The 60-year-old, of Palm Bay, Florida, even reached out to and married his 'long lost love' Michelle Kimbrel - who gave up her job to care for him - earlier this month.

But now multiple ex-girlfriends of Boyer have come forward to call out the 'cancer patient' as a fraud after reading about his wedding in the Daily Mail.


Karen Hagerty, a teacher from Winter Haven, called Boyer 'a master manipulator and conman' who just appeared to be after some free meals and a place to live, Click Orlando reports.

Another ex, Cheryl Alvarez said Boyer would call her his 'Jamaican princess' and talked about marriage with her even though they never had a sexual relationship.

But she became suspicious of his claims he was suffering from stage 4 cancer when they took a motorcycle trip they took together from Miami to Key West.

'It's five hours to the Keys and five hours back, someone going through liver cancer stage 4 can't do that,' she said.

Hagerty and Alvarez are among a long line of exes who say they were fed the same lies by Boyer.

All of them met him on SingleParentMeet.com, and all were told he had cancer.

Boyer even used the same 'love at first sight' line on every single woman he met, it is claimed.

The ex who says she suffered the most at Boyer's hands was Barbara Jones, of Sebastian, Florida, who filed civil lawsuit against Boyer last week.

In it, she alleges that he had borrowed $22,000 from her - and never returned the cash.

Jones said that Boyer moved in with her in September 2015, after they met on a golf course, and he told her that he loved her and was planning to spend the rest of his life with her.

She says that that she too was told about his 'cancer' which would then 'miraculously' go into remission.

Jones says she paid for everything, including all the household bills, until her wallet 'finally broke' in January this year. Boyer left a short time later.

'The man is a menace,' she wrote on Facebook. 'Manipulator and habitual liar doesn't even scratch the surface!'


She says that since he left her, Boyer had left a trail of broken heart and lies.

Trish Marsee, a hairstylist in Winter Park, said she became suspicious when Boyer wanted to move the relationship so fast - telling her he loved her on their first date.

'There were red flags as far as him pushing to move in with me and pushing to have a relationship,' she told WKMG-TV.

She says they only went on a few dates before she ended it, feeling 'I'm too young to be a caretaker.' He said he had a lot of illnesses.'

Boyer's current wife Kimbrel says she and Boyer had began communicating on Facebook earlier this year after meeting 20 years ago in a Missouri bar, but losing touch.

After exchanging a few brief messages, he told her about his condition and Kimbrel offered to take a leave of absence from work to come and care for him.

'I'll talk to them and see what I can do. I will take care of you,' Kimbrel, who is a grandmother, told Click Orlando.

She flew to Florida on April 19 and Boyer proposed a few hours after their reunion.

The pair tied the knot earlier this month.

At the time Boyer described the wedding as being the best possible end to a 'really good life' adding that he was 'ready' to die.

The groom did not disclose what kind of cancer he is suffering or exactly how much time he has left, only that the pair were planning to move back to Missouri to seek alternative treatment.

Yesterday, Boyer was defensive when reporters challenged him about his ex-girlfriends' claims.

'I'm not denying that I know them. I have dated them all, I am not going to play their game. The people that truly know me and truly love me still do, but you haven't talked to any of them. You are only talking to angry, hateful, jealous women.'

He also appeared to dodge the questions about his 'stage 4 cancer.

'Nobody said anything about weeks to live, and I'm sorry the drama card was used to sell the story, but we are done with this,' Boyer said.

However, the channel stated that Boyer's daughter claimed her father would not reach his next birthday which is in June.

Boyer declined to present any medical evidence of his diagnosis. 

Boyer shows a lot of the classic signs of sociopathy. First, pretending to have cancer when you don't is a time honored sociopathic scam. It incorporates dishonesty, manipulativeness, and heartlessness, all in one. (It's often referred to as "Munchausen's Syndrome," and it's driven by a need for attention and sympathy. But really, it's just an offshoot of sociopathy.)

Second, telling all of these women that he felt "love at first sight" for them shows an emotional dishonesty that is another sociopathic specialty, proclaiming positive feelings he simply didn't have. 

Third, scamming a woman you claim to love out of $22,000 is also a neat sociopathic trifecta, combining dishonesty, cruelty, and shamelessness. 

Fourth, accusing one's victims of being "angry, hateful, jealous women" is what sociopaths always do: attack and belittle people who tell the truth about them. 

And fifth, Boyer is a master of that sociopathic trick, being able to produce tears upon command. Here's an article from the NY Daily News which includes a video of Boyer talking about his cancer. Look at the video from the :54 mark to about 1:01. You'll see Boyer saying he's had a really good life, and how God's been good to him, but if it's his time, it's his time. (How brave!) If you've never knowingly seen a sociopath drip with sincerity while lying, you should watch Boyer's tearful performance; it's masterful.  

Boyer is a good-looking guy, but I couldn't help but be struck by his thin lips. Here are a few pictures of him from the Daily Mail article: 




Once again: you won't find the thin lips correlation mentioned in any psychology textbooks, and I certainly can't explain it logically. Maybe I shouldn't mention it, since it probably lowers my credibility on the subject of sociopathy. But, I do keep seeing it.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately for the women, they were involved with a con artist. Thankfully, he's out of their lives (except for the now wife). Hopefully, she eventually kicks him to the curb.

- Susan

John Craig said...

Susan --
My guess is, now that all this has come out and gotten fairly extensive media coverage, "eventually" becomes "in the very near future."

Anonymous said...

Obnoxious medical fraud and cons, so much of it going on. For example did you catch this HBO documentary the other night? Crazy true crime story that includes Sociopathy, deceit, Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome, Sex, unnecessary surgeries, Aspergers, thin lips and the whole nine yards. I mean what is wrong with people???? Here's a link to the documentary on Youtube -- catch it before YouTube shuts it down....:

https://youtu.be/gq1abIF2cPI

John Craig said...

Anon --
I didn't see the show, but I have read about the story. Incredible story, deceit upon deceit. But to answer your question about what's wrong with people, the answer here is clearly just sociopathy. If someone is a sociopath, there's no depth to which they will not sink. And it's hard to believe the daughter's not a sociopath too; how could she not be, being brought up by that mother?

John Craig said...

Anon --
I didn't see the show, but I have read about the story. Incredible story, deceit upon deceit. But to answer your question about what's wrong with people, the answer here is clearly just sociopathy. If someone is a sociopath, there's no depth to which they will not sink. And it's hard to believe the daughter's not a sociopath too; how could she not be, being brought up by that mother?

Thank your that link, by the way, I'll try to catch more of the show later today.

Runner Katy said...

Woo, thanks for the heads up!!! This guy's been smeared all over the Central Florida area, where I live! I think too many of these creeps come to FL. Probably the year round sunshine and a lot of undercover wealth. I hope his story continues to gain ground and it helps prevent future heartbreak!

John Craig said...

Runner Katy --
With your experience with sociopaths you obviously didn't need the heads up, I'm sure you would have spotted this guy from a mile away. But it's always interesting to see what well worn paths they follow, and how many their behavior patterns are all too familiar.

LBD said...

Sociopaths are like vampires--they can't cross your threshold unless you invite them in.

It has always dismayed me how many women so heavily invested in being "nice" that they have almost no sense of self preservation. They will openly share information about their children on dating sites, as if the kids are a bonus that should act as an extra qualifier for a man to wish a relationship with them. "Single Parent Dating Site"? How about saving some information for when you get to know one another better?

Unknown said...

I suspect this guy fits this category, although his 'crime' is lower level: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3119422/serial-date-skipper-who-lures-women-to-pricey-dinner-dates-then-flees-before-bill-comes-strikes-again/

However, in this instance, I don't have much sympathy for the women given how one-sided dating is in their favour generally.

John Craig said...

LBD --
Vampires, good comparison.

I actually think a "Single Parent Dating Site" is a good idea. Most single guys see having kids as a disqualifier for a prospective wife, so this is a site that allows people with that same "handicap" to find each other. And I guess most of them figure if the other one has kids, too, then no harm in talking about their own.

John Craig said...

Gambino --
You're right, that guy would have to be a sociopath. That guy seems to have "gay face," too, so I'd guess he has two reasons to skip out on the date.

I agree that dating generally operates in women's favor, but you have to feel a little sorry for those individual women for having been left high and dry like that.

Anonymous said...

I dated this guy in spring of 2008. I know he had some sort of condition but it wasn't Cancer. He dumped me via email, telling me an old GF showed up. Said he was still in love with her & she was very sick with cancer. Gave me herpes that made me so sick I spent 4 days in the hospital. I still have our emails.

He is the reason I've given up on relationships.

John Craig said...

Anonymous --
That's the very unfortunate secondary effect that sociopaths have: they sour people on humanity.

You shouldn't give up on relationships because of this guy, that would be giving him one final victory over you, which he doesn't deserve. Next time around, just keep your guard up against the 3% of men who are sociopathic; now you know what to look for, what the warning signs are, and you can respond accordingly. (You know that old expression, "that would be letting the terrorists win"? That's what you'd be doing.)