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Saturday, May 26, 2012

Nice guys, average guys, and sociopaths XVI

Situation: A group of sixteen-year-olds are hanging out on a Saturday evening at the house of a boy whose parents are out for the evening. They are unsure what should they do for fun.

Nice guy: Suggests checkers, Parcheesi, or chess.

Average guy: Suggests sneaking some liquor from the parents' liquor cabinet and a game of beer pong.

Sociopath: Suggests taking the parents' other car for a joyride, even though none of the boys have their licenses. When the host refuses, the sociopath calls him a wimp. Later sneaks upstairs and steals some cash from the parents' bedroom.

Situation: A guy goes on a date which goes badly; he doesn't even get a goodnight kiss. What does he tell his buddies?

Nice guy: "She sure didn't seem to like me very much."

Average guy: "She was sort of a bitch."

Sociopath: "I kept getting these weird lesbo vibes from her, so I finally asked her about it, and she said yeah, that I was the first guy she'd wanted to sleep with in over five years. I swear, I ought get a job as a lesbian converter. I ain't seeing her again, though, her pussy really stunk."

Situation: A guy is looking at a lion at the zoo.

Nice guy: Marvels at the beauty and majesty of the creature; feels sad thinking about how it has to spend its life cooped up in that small enclosure.

Average guy: Marvels at its power, and thinks how scary it would be to run into one of them in the wild. Also thinks how cool it would be to have one for a pet.

Sociopath: Looks around to make sure no one is looking, then throws a small stone at it. When the lion doesn't respond, throws a larger stone at it. This one hits it on the head, and the lion gets up, charges the iron bars, and roars. The sociopath is delighted when he sees the other zoo-goers recoil in fear.


Anonymous said...

I love this post, it always brings a smile to my face.

Mad Dog

John Craig said...

Thank you Mad Dog.