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Thursday, August 8, 2013

Weight and appearance

Let me counteract the misandry of the previous post with a little misogyny:

The entire time I was in London, I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of attractive women there. It was impossible to take a walk anywhere near my hotel without seeing at least a few. Of course, whenever you're on vacation anywhere, you tend to see more fine specimens, simply because you're out and about. When you're at home in whatever rut you're in, you see fewer people. Nonetheless, it seemed there were fewer fat people in London.

This was a point driven home when I arrived back in the US two days ago. The US is supposed to be the second most obese nation on earth (next to Mexico). That seems more apparent when you've just been abroad.

The thing is, about 75% of obese women would be attractive if they became slender, and the other 25% would be passable. Exactly zero percent are attractive when overweight. What makes a face attractive are cheekbones which protrude further than cheeks, and a generally visible bone structure. The eyes are preferably large and clear, and the chin and neck preferably separate entities. Fat is the enemy of all of these phenomena.

(And all these things are true, obviously, for men as well as women.)

Whatever your bone structure, it's preferable to have it showing rather than hidden.

It's often been said that European women stay slender in large part because they smoke instead of eat. I say: whatever works.

Smoking is an odious habit. But, if that's what it takes, light up. Take heroin if you need to. Or cocaine, which is even better for weight loss. Have your stomach stapled.

(Okay, in case it's not clear, the last paragraph is just a joke. But there's nothing wrong with exercising and cutting out dessert.)

Addendum, two days later: I've just been informed what a horrible person I am and how I will lose whatever female readership I had by having put up this post. I won't dispute the former, but I would like to point out that any females -- or males -- who object to my bluntness have long since departed anyway.


lowly said...

Hmh, all that for your aesthetic pleasure?

John Craig said...

Lowly --
Is the last part not obviously enough a joke? (Should I take this post out?)

lowly said...

It's like, way subtle, man. Now, what am I going to do with the non-profit I started, for distributing heroin, to our laterally challenged sisters?

John Craig said...

Lowly --
Okay, sorry, you were just playing along with the joke.

But, no reason you can't continue with the nonprofit. Just because I was kidding doesn't mean you can't be serious. And it's a noble cause.

I look forward to seeing your results.