Search Box

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

More planks

Please note that my campaign platform outlined three posts ago actually favors the middle class. Most Presidents talk the middle class talk but then enact policies which favor either the upper or lower classes.

In the meantime, several more people have told me I have their vote. Among these are a couple of liberals, which caused me to take another look at my stated platform, and sure enough, there are several positions more closely associated with Democrats. So I will list several more policies which will discourage liberal support.

(Like all good politicians, I shudder at the thought of votes from people who don't fully comprehend my mindset.)

Here goes: 

We need to declare war on gangs. Gangs -- whether they be the Crips or Bloods, MS-13, the Mafia, the Mexican Mafia, the Tongs, the Albanians, or the Russian mob -- have no redeeming social value, and make certain neighborhoods unlivable. Virtually all motorcycle gangs are criminal enterprises as well. Merely joining a gang should be criminalized.

Legalizing marijuana would deprive the gangs of a large revenue source, and create one for the government. The same rules will apply to marijuana as to alcohol use, i.e., not for use by minors and no driving under the influence.

I would even legalize cocaine use, but with far stricter usage requirements. You can only use it in government-controlled locations, and if you agree to have some semi-permanent form of birth control implanted. This would also deprive the criminals of money. And not incidentally, it would mean fewer crack babies would be born.

Keep the death penalty, and cut down on the time spent on Death Row. If the death penalty is not a deterrent now, it's partly because the endless appeals process tends to make it more of a life sentence.

Abolish the National Endowment for the Arts. It should not be a function of the government to be the arbiter of artistic taste. If someone wants to be paid for his art, let him sell his art in the marketplace.

Disparate impact is one of the more insidious, destructive concepts ever to get past the Supreme Court. This country spends an inordinate amount of energy pretending that all races are equal on average in every way, and that any differences must be the result of racism. We can't keep saying that "our diversity is our strength" and then deny any real diversity. Throwing out the New York Fire Department's entrance exam -- or any other exam -- because blacks score lower on it is as ridiculous as insisting that the NBA be 70% white, 12% Hispanic, and 5% Asian.

In case that's not enough to turn off the liberals, in my second term I plan to institute eugenics.


Anonymous said...

Dear Candidate Craig,

What would you do about the Fed’s present policy of holding interest rates to artificially low levels? A regular person who has worked hard to accumulate savings can expect less than 1% return in a CD or money market, taxable, while real inflation is at 3.5%. It strikes me as incredibly unfair that hard working people should be losing 3% or more, annually, of their life savings if they choose to keep it in a secure investment, especially as markets have become increasingly volatile and chaotic. The primary beneficiary of the Fed’s artificially low interest rates is the banks, who are receiving the transfer of wealth form hard working cautious savers.

- Ed

John Craig said...

Ed --
I think the real problem was that the Fed was creating these low rates but that the banks were using that essentially free money to buy securities(like year bonds) rather than in turn lending the money out to small businesses. At the same time, many of the small businesses were reluctant to expand because of the uncertainties of the economy and also of ObamaCare. The solution is to make Fed lending to the banks dependent on how much the banks are willing to loan out, and also to repeal ObamaCare and cut back on Dodd-Frank and the countless other regulations which are hampering small businesses.

John Craig said...

PS -- I wish the press -- as represented by Ed above -- would stop asking me these complicated questions and just allow me to speechify with overly simplistic and extreme positions which lend themselves to catchy slogans and sound bites. (That's far more fun -- just ask Barack.)