In the wake of her scathing speech against Donald Trump, Just Not Said has obtained an exclusive interview with Michelle Obama.
JustNotSaid: Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with us.
Michelle Obama: Thank you. You wouldn't believe what great press I've gotten the past few days.
JNS: Oh, we can believe it. But frankly, we're a little confused by your having said that Trump's words have shaken you to your core. That implies your sensibilities are fresh from a cloistered 1950's nunnery, yet you've invited rappers to the White House who've said far worse than Donald Trump ever has. For instance, Rick Ross, who --
MO: Rick is a wonderful, melodious, Christian singer.
JNS: But he's constantly rapping about his "hos."
MO: That's not the Rick I know; I'm sure he must be referring to his gardening hoes or something.
JNS: But in his song U.E.O.N.O., he raps, "Put Molly all in her Champagne/ She ain't even know it/ I took her home and I enjoyed that/ She ain't even know it." Do you think this promotes constructive behavior?
MO: Believe me, Rick is a gentle soul who wouldn't hurt a fly.
JNS: Or Common --
MO: (interjecting) Oh, Common! I just love his song "Letter to the Law."
JNS: But in it, Common raps, "Tell the law my Uzi weighs a ton....I hold up a peace sign but I carry a gun." Now, your husband has taken a strongly anti-gun stance, so don't you think that message is somewhat at odds --
MO: (interrupting) Oh you know, that's just poetic license. He's trying to make a point, that's all.
JNS: Now you've said in the past that you can't imagine a better role model for your daughters than Beyonce. But she's sung, “Who the fuck do you think I is? / You ain’t married to no average bitch boy / You can watch my fat ass twist boy / As I bounce to the next dick boy.” Is that really the way you want your daughters to talk?
MO: Oh please. Beyonce happens to be very ladylike, she's just trying to sell albums.
JNS: But you said you were shocked to your core when Trump talked about grabbing pussy, yet Beyonce herself has sung, "Why can't I keep my fingers off it, baby, I want you." Is that not the same thing?
MO: Not at all. Beyonce is a star. Being a star comes with certain privileges, you know.
JNS: But that's exactly what Trump was -- never mind. Now, you also said in your recent speech that the men in your life do not talk about women the way Donald Trump does --
MO: They'd never dare! Why, even when Barack was with his buddy Reggie Love, I never once heard that kind of low-down, ill-mannered talk about women. They were perfect gentlemen. Reggie would always call me "Ma'am." As a matter of fact, he almost seemed a little afraid of me, I don't know why.
JNS: Did, uh, Reggie Love date women much?
MO: He didn't have time to date -- he was too busy with his job! You have no idea how much work it is to keep America running smoothly.
JNS: But his job was just to attend to Barack's personal needs.
MO: And he did a good job of that. Barack always seemed to be in a good mood whenever Reggie was around.
JNS: You've really never, ever heard Barack talk about women in a suggestive manner?
MO: No, even when he was hanging with his first body man, Nick Colvin, who'd been with Barack since he was a Senator. Barack was just never disrespectful that way. In fact, he never even gave another woman a second look.
JNS: But how about when Kal Penn was at the White House? After all, these Hollywood types have a reputation for being very upfront about sex.
MO: No, not even with Kal. I mean, the two of them would giggle a lot, and seemed to have a good time, but it wasn't at all as if they were being impudent, or discourteous to women.
JNS: Okay, I think we get the picture. A slight change of subject here: your speech praised Hillary Clinton to the skies. Yet back in 2008, your husband said that Hillary would, and we quote, "Say anything and change nothing."
MO: Why would you want to go digging up ancient history like that?
JNS: But that secretly recorded tape of Trump with Bill Bush was done even earlier, in 2005.
MO: (shaking head) I'm telling you, that tape shook me to my core.
JNS: Well thank you very much for this enlightening interview.
MO: Thank-you.
JNS: Or Common --
MO: (interjecting) Oh, Common! I just love his song "Letter to the Law."
JNS: But in it, Common raps, "Tell the law my Uzi weighs a ton....I hold up a peace sign but I carry a gun." Now, your husband has taken a strongly anti-gun stance, so don't you think that message is somewhat at odds --
MO: (interrupting) Oh you know, that's just poetic license. He's trying to make a point, that's all.
JNS: Now you've said in the past that you can't imagine a better role model for your daughters than Beyonce. But she's sung, “Who the fuck do you think I is? / You ain’t married to no average bitch boy / You can watch my fat ass twist boy / As I bounce to the next dick boy.” Is that really the way you want your daughters to talk?
MO: Oh please. Beyonce happens to be very ladylike, she's just trying to sell albums.
JNS: But you said you were shocked to your core when Trump talked about grabbing pussy, yet Beyonce herself has sung, "Why can't I keep my fingers off it, baby, I want you." Is that not the same thing?
MO: Not at all. Beyonce is a star. Being a star comes with certain privileges, you know.
JNS: But that's exactly what Trump was -- never mind. Now, you also said in your recent speech that the men in your life do not talk about women the way Donald Trump does --
MO: They'd never dare! Why, even when Barack was with his buddy Reggie Love, I never once heard that kind of low-down, ill-mannered talk about women. They were perfect gentlemen. Reggie would always call me "Ma'am." As a matter of fact, he almost seemed a little afraid of me, I don't know why.
JNS: Did, uh, Reggie Love date women much?
MO: He didn't have time to date -- he was too busy with his job! You have no idea how much work it is to keep America running smoothly.
JNS: But his job was just to attend to Barack's personal needs.
MO: And he did a good job of that. Barack always seemed to be in a good mood whenever Reggie was around.
JNS: You've really never, ever heard Barack talk about women in a suggestive manner?
MO: No, even when he was hanging with his first body man, Nick Colvin, who'd been with Barack since he was a Senator. Barack was just never disrespectful that way. In fact, he never even gave another woman a second look.
JNS: But how about when Kal Penn was at the White House? After all, these Hollywood types have a reputation for being very upfront about sex.
MO: No, not even with Kal. I mean, the two of them would giggle a lot, and seemed to have a good time, but it wasn't at all as if they were being impudent, or discourteous to women.
JNS: Okay, I think we get the picture. A slight change of subject here: your speech praised Hillary Clinton to the skies. Yet back in 2008, your husband said that Hillary would, and we quote, "Say anything and change nothing."
MO: Why would you want to go digging up ancient history like that?
JNS: But that secretly recorded tape of Trump with Bill Bush was done even earlier, in 2005.
MO: (shaking head) I'm telling you, that tape shook me to my core.
JNS: Well thank you very much for this enlightening interview.
MO: Thank-you.
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9 comments:
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====FAK3 BABA
FAK3 BABA --
Michelle Obama, of course, was just reading a speech she was handed by some Democratic speechwriter. But she would have had some editing power, and she chose to go along with this portrayal of herself as being such an incredibly delicate flower. Somehow....I.....just....don't....buy....it.
John,
I really enjoyed this interview. I also enjoyed the work you put into finding the photograph. It must have taken you a long time. Michelle Obama has the sort of winsome features that really underscore her girlish, gamine qualities. We've discussed film stars here quite a bit, but the one that really comes to mind when I think of Michelle Obama is Audrey Hepburn.
Puzzled
Seriously, have you been following Wikileaks? I dont' have the time to go through them exhaustively but the scale of the corruption is staggering.
Puzzled
Puzzled --
Thank you. Ha, perfect description of Michelle. The thing is, you can't fault her for how she looks, she can't hep that, that's just genetics. What you can fault her for is her hypocrisy and implied dishonesty. (On the other hand, what I can't stand are all those white liberals who'll talk about how beautiful she is, when you just know they're not attracted to her in the least.)
I've only been following the Wikileaks revelations superficially. A lot of it (the quid pro quo stuff) we already sorta knew. But yes, Hillary, the DNC, the State Department, the Clinton Foundation, the Justice Department, and now even the FBI, or at least its head, seem to be totally corrupt. And the American people are about to elect them all. (What are the odds that Hillary keeps both Loretta Lynch and James Comey in place?)
Yeah, there's way too much Wikileaks stuff to pay attention to, I'm just referring to the magnitude of it.
I wonder what'll happen After Hillary. Thats the interesting part to me. For example - she's very cozy with the Israeli billionaire Haim Saban, who is honest that his one interest is to manipulate US policy in favor of Israel. It's wrong, but you can't blame him. I blame our system, which allows this.
Saban is also very pro-immigrant because he's an immigrant, and because he makes money owning Univision. But doesn't he see that in the long run this is bad for Israel? Allowing in millions of Muslims is bad for Israel. Eventually, Muslims and progressives could form a coalition in the Democratic party that dislodges Jews. It happened in the UK with the Labour party. Why couldn't it happen here?
I guess Saban would say (privately grinning) that money matters more here and let the slobs hate Israel, I've got the money, but I'm not so sure of that. Money matters in the UK too, and at a certain point, votes matter too. Millions of Muslim voters dislodged the traditional Labour support of British Jews and the party became quite radical on the subject of the Palestinians. Along with that, a very articulate pro-Palestinian case was made by Oxbridge educated Labourites. Now only 8% of British Jews vote Labour.
I could see a time when that happens with the Democrats. It seems astonishing, but it could happen. The last piece of the puzzle would be a Democrat Donald Trump who galvanizes a Muslim/Left/Black front and takes over the party. And that man would make Trump look like a moderate.
Puzzled
I can fault Michelle for her perpetually bee in a bonnet facial expressions.
Puzzled
Puzzled --
Well, there won't be as much from Wikileaks going forward, at least for the next three weeks, since somebody seems to have jammed his internet access. (The Obama administration?)
Interesting scenario you paint there. Yes, could happen. But it does seem Jewish interests are bent on seeing both Europe and the US inundated with non-white refugees. As far as Europe, you could see it as long terms revenge. As far as the US? Maybe a way to stop white nationalism before it gets started.
Yes, the Left everywhere seems to have turned anti-Israel. It's already happened here to some extent, you see it not he campuses. Will it spread? I don't know.
And yes, Saban, Soros, and Adelson,are exhibits A, B, and C of what's wrong with our political system.
Puzzled --
If you had made the Audrey Hepburn comparison to me in person, I'm sure I would have burst out laughing and agreed. But since my name is on this blog I have to sorta pretend to be an adult, and point out that no one is responsible for their looks.
And yeah, she can be -- and often is -- one angry-looking woman. I would not want to get into a fight with her.
Here's an interesting question for you: who would win in a fight, her or Barack?
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