(Mel and Oksana in more peaceable times)
There has been a lot of publicity recently about how Mel Gibson is out of control, ranting and raving and threatening and even hitting the mother of his newborn daughter, Oksana Grigorieva.
Gibson once threatened to burn her house down but demanded oral sex first. Another time he told her she needed "a fucking bat in the side of the head." When Gregorieva called him mean, Gibson replied, "Yeah, you know what mean is now, don't you? So don't call me mean when I'm nice to you. Because I'd like to show you what mean really is. Bitch....whore.....gold digger! All true! You fucking proved it to me! If you're ever interested in proving otherwise, let me know....Look at yourself. And look at what you've fucking done! Look at your son. He's a fucking mess. You fucking excuse for a mother! You're a fucking bitch!"
Gregorieva also accused Gibson of hitting their baby, and supposedly has a photograph of the baby with a bruise on her chin as proof.
It's definitely been a year of living dangerously for Mad (very mad) Max, whose tongue becomes a lethal weapon after one too many tequila sunrises. And Braveheart certainly didn't make his reputation by threatening women, even a woman who tries to hold their daughter for ransom.
But a lot of guys -- including me -- would, if recorded at their angriest, sound like monsters. When you're furious, you'll say anything.
To me the more interesting question is the one the media has ignored: what kind of woman calmly goads a guy on to these heights of fury and then surreptitiously records him? Why was Gibson so angry at her in the first place? And if Gibson is so abusive, why did he never hit his other seven children with his first wife? In fact, his ex-wife Robyn just offered today to testify on his behalf that he was always a good father and husband. (If Gibson had been abusive towards Robyn, would she have been willing to testify on his behalf?)
Did Gibson suddenly become abusive towards women at age 54? Or was there something about Grigorieva that brought this out in him?
Gregorieva's Wikipedia entry says that her parents were music professors. But it also quotes her as saying, "I've always looked after myself. I've never been dependent on anyone financially." A statement like that makes one wonder about her family bonds and early upbringing.
Grigorieva was obviously after Gibson's money. (She refused to sign a prenup which would have given her $5 million.) And her one previous marriage was to James Bond portrayer Timothy Dalton, which means she searches out the rich and famous to have relationships with. These are red flags for sociopathy.
(She also looks as if she's had extensive plastic surgery, which, if done while young, is a yellow flag.)
None of this excuses Gibson's behavior. Gibson has a serious drinking problem, and when he's drunk he uses vile racial epithets. (And given the nature of what he's said, he may use them when sober as well.)
Gibson hasn't been very popular in Hollywood since he made The Passion of the Christ. And his intemperate racial statements have turned off many. So a lot of people seem to be rejoicing in his downfall. But these recent tapes have to be viewed in the context of his relationship with a sociopath.
(I'm not a Whoopi Goldberg fan, but Goldberg, to her immense credit, did say after the tapes came out that in all her dealings with Gibson over the years he never seemed racist to her. Which makes one suspect that his raging at Grigorieva that she would "be raped by a pack of niggers" was more a function of him instinctively using the ugliest language while in the ugliest of moods rather than a considered statement of his attitude towards all black people.)
Gibson needs to go through that twelve step program, dry out, do some apologizing for his racial language, and choose his paramours more wisely.
Unfortunately, there is no cure for Oksana's sociopathy.