The question of your alpha status often boils down to, are you doing what you want to do, and do you ever feel compelled to act in any way which does not reflect the real you?
An alpha male is perfectly comfortable in his own skin. Mine usually feels about two sizes too small -- or too big -- depending on the situation.
If hanging out with some toughs, an alpha just acts like himself. I try to pretend to be tough. (While fooling no one.)
If I'm with a group of guys who ooh and aah over a woman I don't consider attractive, I feel obliged to at least ooh along. An alpha says, "That beast? Are you kidding me?!" with such forceful conviction that it causes the others to reevaluate their original opinions.
If I'm asked to attend something I don't like, for instance the opera, I sometimes knuckle under. An alpha just says no.
If an alpha somehow ends up at that opera anyway, he will slump back in his seat and fall asleep. I fidget uncomfortably in my seat and look around to see if there's anyone else who looks as bored as I feel.
If an alpha is with some rich people, he'll think, what a bunch of spoiled scumbags. I just feel poor.
If an alpha is with some intellectuals, he'll think, what a bunch of pretentious asswipes. I'll start using phrases like "as it were" and "Correct me if I'm wrong, but..."
If I get invited to a Super Bowl party, I'll sit quietly at the end of the couch, hoping that my lack of football knowledge isn't too apparent. An alpha will plop himself down in the middle of the couch and ask for the remote so he can change the channel.
If I'm with a group who is bemoaning, say, the tsunami which hit Japan, I'll at least pay lip service to the horror of the tragedy. An alpha will say, "Did you see the way that thing lifted up those cars like they were little toy boats in a bathtub? It was freaking awesome!"
If I'm stuck talking to a boring person at a cocktail party, I'll continue talking to him in an effort to be agreeable. An alpha will just walk off when that person is mid-sentence.
If a woman asks me if I think that dress makes her look fat, I automatically reply, "No, not at all." An alpha just shrugs and says, "Whaddaya expect, a miracle?"
If I have dinner with a recovering alcoholic, I'll abstain out of consideration. An alpha will order drinks for both of them.
When I'm going to a party, I make sure not to get there late, because I don't want to be rude. At the same time, I don't get there too early, so as not to appear overly eager. So I appear promptly at ten minutes past the invite time. An alpha just gets there whenever he gets there.
If I'm the oddball in any way at any sort of gathering, I do my best to hide that and blend in. If an alpha is the odd man out in a group of 100, he wonders why the other 99 are so weird.
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1 comment:
Not caring about the social game is not alpha, it's autism.
I believe that alphas care intensely about what others think. If you don't care about what other people think, you probably aren't very motivated to interact socially, the way autists just ignore other people. Alphas don't ignore. They want and need to dominate. Alphaness is narcissism, not autism.
All these examples of alpha behavior sound to me like displays of dominance, not being yourself. The most efficient way to be yourself is to be by yourself. But alphas are hypersocial.
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