Fashion Week

Fashion Week is coming to New York this next week!

Soon we'll get to see the new styles the world's greatest designers have determined will be "in" this coming year!

I'm so impatient I've decided to take a peek at some of the fashions from the Paris fashion show this past spring.

A few examples:

Neck rings used to do wonders for elongating the necks of the Padaung women of Burma; Jean-Charles de Castelbajac sees no reason they can't do the same for everyone else. That otherworldly take-me-to-your-leader hairstyle adds to the allure.

Some might feel that A. F. Vandevorst's Vegas showgirl headpiece clashes with the formal evening gown. But this outfit will allow you to at least partially blend in anywhere.

An exhibitionist biker chick get up: just be careful when you're riding on the back of your man's hog with the wind going at 60 mph!

This combination of a sari-like garment with the I've-just-had-a-lobotomy headpiece makes a bold statement about what achieving nirvana is really all about.

What Maid Marian might have worn had she gotten implants.

This Balenciaga amalgamation looks a little like the Tin Man from the waist down, and a jerkin worn by a medieval yeoman from the waist up. The overall effect is that of the jack in a deck of cards.

Balenciaga is given credit for this dress, but it looks more as if it was designed by a committee.

Got a taste for schoolgirl hookers?

An Alexander McQueen creation for when the Ice Capades decide to put on a production of Swan Lake.

Ann Demeulemeester has created a special outfit just for witches in mourning.

Comme des Garcons has come up the outfit that's perfect for any occasion: an Amish wedding dress with white go-go boots.

Chanel has created a special look for ladies who feel that hot pants are overly modest.