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Monday, February 13, 2012

Looking for romance?

It's fascinating to look at the letters from prisoners seeking pen pals:

Many, naturally enough, say they are seeking friends who are "not judgmental." (Translation: have no sense of judgment.)

Virtually all either say they were convicted wrongly, or only admit to making a "mistake," without specifying what that mistake was. To most of us, a mistake might consist of a mathematical error, or a misspelling. Or perhaps losing our keys. The "mistake" these inmates refer to is something along the lines of having raped and murdered someone. (Oops .)

If any of these inmates strike you as nice guys, or if theirs is the type of patter you tend to fall for, I have one piece of advice for you:

Never, ever, set foot outside your front door.

(By the way, for those of you who don't know the writer of this blog -- which is basically a request for commenters if not friends -- I'm quite partial to long romantic walks on the beach. And I love puppies.)


Anonymous said...

It's a good niche for playing amateur cultural anthropologist. Could be worth an article or someone's Sociology dissertation.
Having scanned various sites to get a psychological handle on various subcultures I was surprised by the size of the date-a-prisoner business.
Most of the males say that looks, age, weight are no barrier. Yeah, how many guys in their 20's to 40's really believe that? Spirituality is mentioned a lot, as well as the phrase "soul-mate". They emphasize their sensitivity. If they're tall they'll throw that in; if in shape the photo may show them in a tank-top.
The female cons play the feel sorry angle and seem to be looking for somebody to leech off of when they get out- they usually have shorter sentences.
I can understand the convicts; they transparently want to get outside support, money, etc. What I want to know is what's going on in the minds of those who desire to get involved with convicts. They might be wackier than the convicts themselves.

John Craig said...

Anonymous --
You have a good hand on it. You do have to look at the advertisements through the lens of sociopathy, though. Yes, they advertise their best qualities, like their muscles, but you can almost be positive that whatever they say about their personalities is untrue.

Check out:

Then go to the linked article. (There's actually a name attached to phenomena of women who are attracted to notorious criminals.)

John Craig said...

A good "handle," not "hand." (Sorry, my new computer has a particularly aggressive auto-fill.)

Anonymous said...

Checked out the attached article regarding hybristophilia. Whew, what can one say besides whew? I remember the Midnight Stalker had fans and women competing for him, with one finally marrying him. Scott Peterson, the California guy who killed his spouse, also reportedly had marriage proposals waiting for him when he arrived on death row. The guys who are the worst choices on the planet for the role of significant other have women vying for them.
Of course these psychos play people, that's what sociopaths do. But all these enthusiastic volunteers for being played coming out of the woodwork really make one's head spin. How many more like that are out there?

John Craig said...

Anonymous --
You're absolutely right.

I'd written about it here too, before I'd discovered there was a name for it:

The most interesting thing about a serial killer is always to find out how he got that way; likewise, it'd sure be interesting to find out more about these women, see how they became that way.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't make good pen pal to a prisoner- I'd be too judgmental for their tastes. Yes, I've heard the "I've made mistakes" excuse from a male sociopath. Zero remorse on his end (about all things). It's disturbing and enlightening at the same time, allowing you to realize how these creatures think, operate, being "flat" people (no actual depth to them).

- Susan

John Craig said...

Susan --
Thank you for reading this far back. I had a long running argument with a woman who was writing Frederick Baer, the double murderer from Indiana. She was his penal and kept telling me what a nice guy he was, and how his crimes (he attempted to rape and then killed a young woman, then killed her 4-year-old daughter, too, to keep her form testifying against him. He slit both of their throats and practically decapitated the young girl.

This woman was obviously crazy, and suffered from hybristophilia. Not even sure why I engaged with her at first.